Abiding Monday

I apologize for the length of this, but as I was reading "Allure of Hope" for the second time through I felt the pull to post this.  This wonderful book written by Jan Meyers is a must read for all women.

We put such a burden on ourselves in trying to live the life we think we are called to live.  In doing so I think we miss "real life" in the process.



From Allure of Hope:


You may not know this, but Christianity isn't meant to make you into an efficient, moral woman. Are we meant to change as Christ stuns us with His forgiveness? Absolutely. But the transformation that comes, impacting who we are as women, does so naturally as an afterthought of God's love for us, surprising us as it shows up. Our femininity, our artistry, is transformed - perhaps released is a better word - as our hearts are captured by the goodness of God in the midst of our hard-heartedness. If we attempt to be more feminine - if we strive to make "being a godly, feminine woman" our goal - we end up having the feel of a Barbie doll at a dance. Others around us are fluid and laughing. We are stiff and uninviting."


Recently a group of high-profile Christian women met locally. They were called together by one who is well know for her influential teachings on womanhood. Graciously, she wanted to get a sense of where women's needs were, where the direction of her work should head in order to address those needs. My friend Leigh attended this meeting along with about twenty others. Each woman had a chance to say what she thought was important. Leigh heard them say things like "Women are not disciplined enough. We try so hard to motivate them, but they don't have the skills to structure their lives to benefit from it." Another said, "We need to find a way to convince women they have something to give." Leigh patiently waited as woman after woman spoke of commitment and obligation, cheerleading women into enthusiasm.


Leigh began to deflate. She was becoming disturbed; something grievous was going on here. Then she realized that there was no lack in what was being said. She realized she was hearing everyone speak of being well on their way and needing to find a way to assist those who aren't. Leigh thought, I was a spiritual orphan who found a home in the heart of an older woman who loved me. That's where the love of Christ took root. I come here today with a great need. We all have great need, and we need to meet each other in the heart in order for God's love to take root.


When all had spoken their peace, one woman realized they hadn't heard from Leigh. "Leigh", she asked, "would you like to add something?"


"Yes," Leigh said with misty eyes. "Isn't all of this missing the point? I tried for years to be a dutiful, sacrificial Christian woman, and I always ended up feeling like all the activity was missing the point. I've realized in the last few years that our relationship with God is all about Him finding our hearts, and women are experts at keeping their hearts locked away. How can we know the joy of forgiveness if we don't see how hard our hearts are? How can we respond passionately to pleas for more involvement if our hearts aren't in it? I think we do an incredible disservice to women by adding to their burden rather than meeting them where their hearts are, in what they are thirsty for. Do we want to create women who are more active, or do we want to multiply women who are desperately thirsty for the heart of God?"


The room was silent, the other women remembering their hearts for a moment. It was clear where the beauty was in the room.


It's so very easy to forget our hearts, have you forgotten your heart?

As we head into this season of celebration may we slow down, may we refrain from entering the frenzied pace that has become "normal" this time of year.

When we slow down we realize just how very thirsty we are.


...If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.  (John 7:37, 38)


...but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. (John 4:14)


Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters...  (Isaiah 55:1)


Grace and peace

Abiding Monday

We are such complex beings.  We can appear to be one thing, and that thing can be partially true about us, or it can all be an act.  We are good at appearing to be one thing on the outside and something entirely different on the inside.  Often we try hard to hide what's really true because we fear we will not be liked for who we really are, how could they we think, we do not even like who we are on the inside.  I was at that place four years ago.

I am finding it a hard thing to give up old ways of doing life.  Patterns can be hard to break when you have lived in them for years and years.  God can break patterns and bring healing in an instant, but I am finding for me it is more of a process. It's usually a few steps forward, and one back. I am also learning that that is okay.  God does not expect perfection.  I have learned that I am not "punished" when I don't live up to some requirement.  I have learned that I can be honest about what is true and not hide it...he knows it anyway for goodness sake.  It's more about being honest with myself. Agreeing with God about what is true about me and knowing his love is not dependent on my behavior at a given time.  His love does not diminish when I screw up!  

This is so freeing...to be able to peer under the waterline safely.  To be able to begin addressing the junk that causes us to feel or act, or react in certain ways.  

Hey you all, check out the shape of this iceberg...looks a bit heart shaped to me.  

Grace, Love and Peace.

Abiding Monday

More Spoken Worship by Gerard Kelly

GOD SPELL

Arrest me, oh God, until I am free.

Blind me until the scales fall from my eyes.

Cajole me, corral me, confront what's soft in me,

God of comfort, who will never compromise.

Divorce me, my God, from all that harms my heart.

Extend me beyond my feeble dreams.

Fix me, firm and fast, to your unfolding future,

God of visions, who is not what he may seem.

Glue me, great God, in the grip of your goodness.

Hold me in the harbor of your hand.

Infuse me, inspire me, invest in my perfection,

God of grace I will not always understand.

Jump-start me, jolting God, when my ignition fails me.

Kick me into life when life is waiting.

Leapfrog my reluctance, lead me in your dance,

God of sacrifice, on whose thin ice I am skating.

Mark me, wounded God, with the subtle bruise of love.

Needle me with needs that crave compassion.

Outrage my inhibitions, overrule my cold inaction.

God of giving, who will not grant me isolation.

Provoke me, powerful God, to a panoramic vision.

Question me when I excuse my small ambitions,

Reason with me, read intentions, renew my once-strong dreams,

God of instincts far beyond imagination.

Scorch me, searing God, when my temperature is falling,

Traumatize me when my spirit is sedated.

Upset my dull routines, undermine my oversleeping,

God of wildfire, who will not be domesticated.

Vaccinate me, holy God, against the selfish gene's encroachment.

Wash the self-inflicted wounds of my false feelings.

X-ray my heart until every motive shows,

God of hygiene, holding out for my full healing.

Yearn for me, God of love, whose very life is longing.

Zero in on every fault line I've befriended,

Zoom in on my mind-maps,

Zone out my danger zones,

God of endings, who will leave no song unended.

Life has been full to the brim for me these last couple of weeks.  I want you all to know I have missed my friends here, and will be back visiting and commenting shortly.  

Grace and Peace

Abiding Monday

And as they were eating, he took bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them and said, "Take; this is my body." And he took the cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, and they all drank it. And he said to them, "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many. Truly, I say to you, I shall not drink again of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God."

Mark 14:22-25

This piece comes from "Reliving the Passion" by Walter Wangerin Jr.

"The Lord Jesus, the same night in which he was betrayed - 

When is a mother more inclined to cuddle her children? When they are a nasty, insolent brood, disobedient and disrespectful of her motherhood? Or when they are cuddly?

When will a father likelier give good gifts to his children? When they've just ruined the previous gift, by negligence or by downright wickedness? When they are sullen and self-absorbed? Or when they manifest genuine goodness and self-responsibility?

But the love of Jesus is utterly unaccountable - except that he is God and God is love. It has no cause in us. It reacts to, or repays, or rewards just nothing in us. It is beyond human measure, beyond human comprehension. It takes my breath away.

For when did Jesus choose to give us the supernal, enduring gift of his presence, his cuddling, his dear communing with us? When we were worthy of the gift, good people indeed? Hardly. It was precisely when we were most unworthy. When our wickedness was directed particularly at him.

Listen, children: it was to the insolent and the hateful that he gave his gift of personal love.

"As they were eating, he took bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them and said -"

When the apostle Paul the pastor repeats: The Lord Jesus, the same night in which he was betrayed, took bread. Oh, let that pastor murmur those words, the same night, with awe. For who among us can hear them just before receiving the gift of Christ's intimacy and not be overcome with wonder, stunned at such astonishing love? The context qualifies that love. The time defines it. And ever and ever again, these words remind us of the times: The same night in which he was betrayed - 

"While we were still weak," say Paul, "at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." Not for the godly and the good, but "while we were yet sinners Christ died for us." Then! That same night! When absolutely nothing recommended us. When "we were enemies." Enemies! In the night of gravest human treachery he gave the gift of himself. And the giving has never ceased. The holy communion continues today.

But in that same night he remembered our need. In that same night he provided the sacrament which would forever contain his grace and touch his comfort into us.

Oh, this a a love past human expectation. This is beyond all human deserving. This, therefore, is a love so celestial that it shall endure long and longer than we do.

This is grace."

Father may the truth of this not just sit on the edges of my heart, but sink down deep, fill every hole, crack and crevice. May it color everything I say and do.  

I'm taking a wee blogging break this week. May you experience God's love for you in a fresh way this Easter. May you experience his amazing, unconditional, unmerited, available love for you as you draw near to him.  

Grace and Peace

Abiding Monday

I have been reading, like many of you "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. And it is a marvelous book, but I have resisted beginning a gratitude journal because everybody else is doing it. I say to myself, "I know I am grateful..."

But...

My heart actually races and I get excited when I approach an "Anthropologie"  store.  Or an art or paper store.  Or even T. J. Max for goodness sake, for a new cool bag when I want my "fix" of instant happiness.

Does my heart race when I think of all God has done?  Does my heart race when I think of spending time with him? If I am completely honest...(and I need to be with myself and God in order to begin the process of repentance and healing) it does not.  

Then I read:

"A thankful attitude opens windows of heaven. Spiritual blessings fall freely onto you through those openings into eternity.(we are able to see them) Moreover, as you look up with a grateful heart, you get glimpses of Glory through those windows. You cannot yet live in heaven, but you can experience foretastes of your ultimate home. Such samples of heavenly fare revive your hope. Thankfulness opens you up to these experiences, which then provide further reasons to be grateful. Thus, your path becomes an upward spiral: ever increasing in gladness.

Thankfulness is not some sort of magic formula; it is the language of Love, which enables you to communicate intimately with Me. A thankful mind-set does not entail a denial of reality with its plethora of problems. Instead, it rejoices in Me, your Savior, in the midst of trials and tribulations. I am your refuge and strength, and ever-present and well-proved help in trouble." (Sarah Young)

Then I read Ann's post for today. Heck, how to help raise grateful old people too...

"Perspective can always adopt gratitude and gratitude always parents joy".

I want my joy to come from the Lord, a deep down joy, not a fleeting happiness that comes from some shiny new bauble. 

I am thinking I will begin a Gratitude Journal - today!

Abiding Monday

I am reading 40 Days with Jesus, Celebrating His Presence by Sarah Young. 

 40 days before Easter. 

 The Lenten Season.

I read this today.  After my post on Friday this was a blessing.


"I am able to keep you from stumbling. I know how weak your are: how easily you would stumble if I were not holding on to you. I can also present you faultless before the Presence of My Glory. You are growing in grace, but complete freedom from sin will not be possible until you leave this fallen world. Nonetheless, because you truly trust Me as Savior I keep your from stumbling in the ultimate sense: I won't let you lose your salvation.


I am able to present you faultless - blameless, perfect, unblemished - before the Presence of My Glory because I have clothed you with garments of salvation and arrayed you in a robe of righteousness. I want you to wear this royal robe with confidence. You are absolutely secure because it is My righteousness that saves you - not yours.

Exceeding Joy is for both you and Me, I delight in you now, but this Joy will be astronomically magnified when you join Me in Glory. The Joy you will experience in heaven is so far beyond anything you have known on earth that it is indescribable. Nothing can rob you of this glorious inheritance which is imperishable and will not fade away.

Rejoice!"


Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forevermore. Amen  (Jude 24-25)

For Reflection: Isaiah 61:10; 1 Peter 1:3-4

Such amazing promises!  Rejoice indeed!  

Abiding Monday

I have come to realize that when I fall short of living the life God has called me to it is because I have failed to love well.  Really, it all comes down to that.  Loving well.  If you look at all the commandments in the Old Testament, all the do's and don'ts, the bottom line is love.  That's why Jesus could narrow them down to two.  

"Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and Prophets." 

(Matthew 22:37-40) 

I can honestly say there are more times I do not love well than there are that I do. And I have come to understand that I cannot MAKE myself love better. I could go through the motions and make it look like I am doing a better job, but looking at my heart would show something else. And I do believe I am called to act like it when I don't feel like it, but I also believe it's not the same thing.  

I have been a believer for all of my adult life, but about 4 years ago I began a new and deeper journey. One that has taken me into my heart to look at all the dark places that I was afraid to face.  We all have them, we just don't always look.  I was ready to do some hard work, to begin pulling weeds that long entangled my wounded, broken heart.  

"The descending way is a way that is concealed in each person's heart. But because it is seldom walked on, it's often overgrown with weeds. Slowly but surely we have to clear the weeds, open the way, and set out on it unafraid."

(Henri Nouwen - Lenten Readings-The Way of Humility)

The Lenten season is a good time to really be about this. A time of deep reflection, a time to mourn our lack of  love and our hardened weed entangled hearts.

But I want to say something else here because the process of this can at times send me into a tailspin. A downward spiral of self-hatred. A focus on all the things I do not do right.  The enemy of our soul would like nothing better than to make us feel defeated and utterly useless and worthless.

God never makes us feel like that. NEVER!  

It is good to mourn, but we have a God waiting with open arms to forgive our failings. He waits patiently for us to turn to him and admit we cannot do this on our own.  He longs for us to finally cease our fruitless striving and rest in Him.  To crawl up in his lap and say, "Daddy I cannot do this in my own strength".

Only God can change a heart.

I receive a mailing from Jan Johnson once a month. This months is titled Guilt Odyssey.  Please take some time to read it.  janjohnson.org/march_2011_wisbits.html

Grace and Peace 

Abiding Monday

I am abiding with HIM over here

If you do not already know Pat Miller, it's my great pleasure to introduce her to you.

You will be fed, encouraged, and challenged.

Grace and Peace

Abiding Monday

I apologize if today post is...feels fragmented.  It's kind of how I am feeling today. 

 I am having a hard time living out my word for the year.  

WHOLEHEARTED.  

I am in an uncomfortable place, 

my own skin.

I think I read books about God and the Spiritual Life more than the Bible. They are really good books, and contain much truth and they all point me in the right direction.  And God uses them in my life in a very good way.  But I think that I substitute them for reading God's word...a lot.

So, I decided that from now till Easter I will read two chapters a day.  Beginning with Matthew and reading through Luke.  

Reading Jesus.

 Today I read, "Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute
single-heartedness." 

Yes, Lord...

Oh Father, this is really my deepest hearts desire, but I fear it is buried too deep.  I fear it will take some painful digging to get there,  

am I willing...

am I willing...

Maybe that's why I don't focus my reading in the Word.  They are more than mere good words.

There is power in them...they are living...

But isn't that what I say I want?  

His word - Him to change me? 

Yes, yes, but I am afraid.

So I am asking myself what it is that I am really afraid of....

At the beginning of Lent my church handed out a calendar of sorts.  Each day of Lent has something to do.  Some of them are things to give up for the day, some of them are things to do.  Some of them will not be hard for me.  Some of them will be incredibly difficult.  

I thought I would begin to post them weekly...

Monday, March 14th - Write a prayer to God explaining the habits, behaviors, and sins you want to die to.

Tuesday, March 15th - Call someone with whom you have had a falling out and make amends.

Wednesday, March 16th - Fast during the daylight hours.

Thursday, March 17th - Do something that you've been putting off or trying to avoid.

Friday, March 18th - Go for a walk in your neighborhood and pick up any trash you see.

Saturday, March 19th - Spend 30 to 60 minutes in self-imposed silence.

Abiding Monday

"I am your devoted Friend and also your King of kings,

accomplishing My divine transformation in you.  All things

are possible with Me!"

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...and provide 

for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown 

of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of

mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of

despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting

of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61:1-3

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do 

not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your

hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is

impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Matthew 19:26

Brokenness

Nothing is wasted when it is shared with Me. I can bring beauty out of the ashes of lost dreams; I can glean Joy out of sorrow, Peace out of adversity. This divine alchemy will become a reality in your experience as you learn how to share more and more of your life with Me. You believe I am capable of creating wholeness out of your brokenness and struggles. So I urge you to bring all these things to Me for transformation, trusting in My healing Presence.

I take great delight in transforming My precious children. Give Me your broken dreams! Release them into My care and keeping. I will not only heal the brokenness, I will give you a new dream - one that is in harmony with My plans for you. As you seek to nurture this budding dream, you will find yourself becoming more content and increasingly aware of My beautiful Presence.

Give Me you sadness and your problems as well. Sorrow shared with Me is permeated with brilliant glitters of Joy - like numerous Christmas lights sparkling in the darkness. Accept adversity as My gift to you. You will find golden pockets of Peace hidden in the hardness of your problems. 

(Jesus Lives, by Sarah Young)

I read this on the heals of Thursday's post. I love how God places the pieces of the puzzle that is my life together.

He does that for you too. 

Abiding Monday

The Spirit of God...has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,

Announce freedom to all captives,

pardon all prisoners. 

Isaiah 61:1 (The Message)

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,

his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

How great is your faithfulness!

Lamentations 3:22-23 (The Message)

Create in me a clean heart, O God, 

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10 (NKJV) 

I  love Psalm 51: 7-15  in The Message so much I must post it here.

Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don't look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breath holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I'll sing anthems to
your life-giving ways.  Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise.



Brokenness


You are feeling brokenhearted and bound: entangled in webs of discouragement. Pick up the pieces of your broken heart - scattered all around you - and bring them to Me. Place them on the white linen cloth I provide, and wait in My healing Presence. Sit still in My holy Light while I cleanse you from binding webs of discouragement. Look into My Face and see the great Love I have for you. Because My Love is limitless, I never run out of compassion. When you feel on the brink of giving up, remind yourself of My great faithfulness: I never give up on you!


Though your disappointment is real, My Presence with you is even more real. Stay close to Me as I work on mending your broken heart. Of course, your repaired heart will not be exactly as it was before, but in some ways it will be much better. Your renewed heart - stripped of its cherished hopes - will have more space for Me.  (Jesus Lives, by Sarah Young)


One thing I must say here too, is that God did not create us to live in isolation. We are not meant to walk this journey alone.  He is in himself community.  God uses others to help heal. Others are his arms to reach out to hold those in need of it. Hands to help when needed. Feet to move when needed.

I have been in a place of despair before, of feeling utterly alone. But as long as the sun rises another day, there is HOPE...God's mercies are new every morning...they are!!!

It's easy for me to say this now...out of the darkness, out of the pit...not so much when you are in it..

Please don't give up, please don't give in to the darkness.

Reach out.

There is the other side of what you may be experiencing.  God can and will bring you through, not always over...sometimes we have to experience every inch of the heartache.

And as Sarah Young said, "your heart will not be exactly as it was before, but in some ways it will be much better..."

And as it leaves more space for God, it leaves life experiences that enable you to be the hands and feet of Jesus to others.

Grace and Peace

Abiding Monday

Salvation comes no other way; no other name has been

or will be given to us by which we can be saved, only this one.

Acts 4:12 MSG

Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time.

James 4:8 MSG

And whoever calls out for help to me, will be saved.

Acts 2:21 MSG

The Lord make His face to shine upon and 

enlighten you and be gracious (kind, merciful, and

giving favor) to you. The Lord lift up His [approving]

countenance upon you and give you peace

(tranquility of heart and life continually).

Numbers 6:25-26 AMP

INVITE ME INTO YOUR THOUGHTS BY

WHISPERING MY NAME; SUDDENLY YOUR DAY

BRIGHTENS AND FEELS MORE USER-FRIENDLY.

When you speak My Name in loving trust, you sense My

Presence and feel yourself drawing closer to Me.

There is great Power in My Name: Simply whispering "Jesus"

can turn a hard day into a good one. By calling My Name

frequently, you acknowledge your continual need of Me.

And when you pray My Name, you are actually calling upon

My very Being. I joyfully respond to your invitation by coming

 nearer to you.

I am pleased by your desire to rely on Me in ordinary moments

as well as in the big events of your life. When you whisper

My Name, I respond not only to your neediness but also to

your love. As you look to Me, My Face shines upon you in

radiant approval - brightening your day and helping you

feel secure.

Jesus Lives, by Sarah Young

Could it really be that easy?  

He says it is!

Abiding Monday

From Spoken Worship, by Gerard Kelly

Fit Me In Somewhere

Fit me in somewhere

in this giant jigsaw, God,

somewhere in this work of art

you're working,

select a space my shape can fill

and with a puzzle maker's skill

let my contours find their fit without contortion.

Teach me which patch I am, God,

in the cosmic quilt you're quilting.

Show me where my square of selfhood is of use.

Let the colourful complexities

of the pattern that is me

find their purpose in the placement that you choose.

Show me my position, God,

in this group photograph.

Stand me where you want me to stand.

Put me next to who you will.

Make me stand, for good or ill,

precisely in the place your plan demands.

Tell me what I am, God,

in this body you are building;

a tongue to taste, 

a nerve to serve, 

an ear to hear.

Give me grace

to not be, gracefully,

the parts I am not called to be

and to play with elegance

the roles I'm given.

Fit me in somewhere

in this giant jigsaw, God,

somewhere in this work of art you're working.

Weave your wondrous tapestry

until the twisted, tangled threads of me,

surrendered to your artistry,

form an image that is beautiful to see.

Abiding Monday

I am reading "Life With God, Reading the Bible for Spiritual Transformation" by Richard Foster.  I want to read the Bible, these living words for life transformation and heart change, not just head knowledge.  I want them to mold and change me. In abiding I am finding Spiritual Discipline's to be of great help.  Richard Foster explains what they are in such a clear and understand way.

 WHAT IS A SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE?

Now, to move forward in this life, we must understand clearly what a Spiritual Discipline is in the first place. A Spiritual Discipline is an intentionally directed action by which we do what we can do in order to receive from God the ability (or power) to do what we cannot do by direct effort. It is not in us, for example, to love our enemies. We might even go out and try very hard to love our enemies, but we will fail miserably. Always. This strength, this power to love our enemies – that is, to genuinely and unconditionally love those who curse us and despitefully use us – is simply not within our natural abilities.  We cannot do it by ourselves. Ever.

But this fact of life does not mean that we do nothing.  Far from it!  Instead, by an act of the will we choose to take up Disciplines of the spiritual life that we can do.  These Disciplines are all actions of the body, mind, and spirit that are within our power to do.  Not always and not perfectly, to be sure.  But they are things we can do.  By choice.  By choosing actions of fasting we can learn experientially that we do not live by bread alone by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. (Deut. 8:3; Luke 4:4). By choosing actions of study we can learn how the mind takes on an order conforming to the order upon which it concentrates, which is precisely why we seek to turn our mind toward all things “true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil. 4:8). By choosing actions of solitude we can become intimately acquainted with many things that control us so that we can be set free from them by the power of God (Mark 6:31). And so forth.

Now, the Spiritual Disciplines in and of themselves have no merit whatsoever. They possess no righteousness, contain no rectitude.  Their purpose – their only purpose – is to place us before God.  After that they have come to the end of their tether.  But it is enough.  Then the grace of God steps in and takes this simple offering of ourselves and creates out of it the kind of person who embodies the goodness of God; indeed, a person who can come to the place of truly loving even enemies.

Again, Spiritual Disciplines involve doing what we can do to receive from God the power to do what we cannot do.  And God graciously uses this process to produce in us the kind of person who automatically will do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

This ability to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done is the true freedom in life.  Freedom comes not from the absence of restraint by from the presence of discipline.  Only the disciplined gymnast is free to score a perfect ten on the parallel bars.  Only the disciplined violinist is free to play Paganini’s “Caprices.”  This, of course, is true in all of life, but it is never truer than in the spiritual life.  When we are on the spot, when we find ourselves in the midst of the crisis, it is too late.  Training in the Spiritual Disciplines is the God-ordained means for forming and transforming the human personality so that in the emergency we can be “response-able”- able to respond appropriately.

Richard Foster, Life With God; pages 16-18

Abiding Monday

My sweet daughter is home.  She arrived yesterday afternoon.  She is home for a full week.  I am oh so thankful.

I have so many things running through my head and heart.  Yesterday's workshop was wonderful.  About 25 women attended, some returning and some new.  The hours go by so quickly, and I never feel like I get to share as much as I want to.  I guess that's why we are having more.  I love watching these precious women create something, some have never done anything like this.  I love watching them "get it".  I love seeing the returning women's journals and what they have done on their own.  I asked them if they were surprised at how wonderful, and therapeutic visual journaling is.  They all smiled and shook their heads up and down.  I am so grateful to be able to share this...so grateful!

In fact, I have a little dream tucked in my heart.  I debated sharing it, part of me wanted to keep it secret, just for me and God.  But I am going to say it out loud, and hold it with open hands and heart.  I desire to have a little studio, other than my home, to offer these workshop, and have a place for women to come and create during the week.  My studio can only sit about 10, or 12 if we really squeeze.  And you journalers know how we like to spread out.  So, I am going to keep praying about this.  And if God so graciously chooses to open doors I will gladly step through.  And if not, that's okay too. This is God's gig anyway.  I would not be able to do this without his gifting, his prompting me.  I would have never had the courage to do this on my own.

Oh, remember the painting I asked you abut in the last post?  I have decided, (I really think I knew all the time) that it is not complete.  As I gaze at it I see chaos.  That got me to thinking about how God creates order out of chaos.  How God brings healing from brokenness. How God brings light out of the darkness.

Transformation comes to mind.  I do not know where I will take this, I just know it will be more.

Grace and peace to you dear friends.

Abiding Monday

This is from Jan Johnson's website. You can sign up to receive these "Wisbits" and find all kinds of good books, articles and resources to aid in your journey.  I have read several of her books and find them a cool drink of water.  "Experiencing God's Presence" and "When the Soul Listens" are two examples. It is worth the time to explore her site.

God Speaking To You

If the Bible is merely words on a page, you are missing out on God’s primary way of speaking to you and me. Try taking a passage of Scripture from that viewpoint: God wants to speak it to you. As you read it, speak those words aloud to yourself from God’s (or Jesus’) point of view. Better yet, write them down; best yet, do both. Paraphrase the words and pull in phrases from elsewhere in Scripture if they fit.

Here are two examples (please read these aloud and insert your name):

"_____ (your name), don’t worry. Just keep trusting me. I will never leave you isolated; I am your constant companion, always at your side. You are in me and I am in you. You really can live in union with me. The Counselor—the Holy Spirit—is eager to teach you everything you need to know and remind you when you forget. Doing the things I’ve told you will bond you to me even more and give you a rich life in God. My companionship will provide you with a peace that the world cannot give, cannot experience, and cannot even understand. You really don’t need to be troubled or afraid of anything ever again” (John 14:1, 18, 20, 23, 26-27).

And,

“___ I want you to truly know me. I want to give you spiritual power—resurrection sort of power. This will mean you have to let go of quite a bit, especially those things you regard as success. But you won’t be sorry because you’ll bask in the surpassing richness of knowing me as your all in all. You’ll need to lay aside certain things that look good (and you’ll see how silly it was to hold on to them) so that you can gain more of me and make me your own. It will gradually become clear to you and others that you are mine—not because you do good things—but because you radiate a self-forgetful unassuming goodness that can come only from me.”

“Now, _____, you aren’t there yet, but press in—don’t give up—because I’ve got a hold of you and I am doing this in you. You’re going to have to forget, to let go of, and to lay aside the glories (and faults) of yesterday, last year and ten years ago, and then turn your attention and energy toward me and the with-God life I’m drawing you into. Trust me more than ever before” (Philippians 3:7-14, beginning with the theme verse: 10).

You may think, I can’t do it like that. Try it anyway. You’ll probably do it better because the Holy Spirit knows you so well and will provide the words you need. Try not to use churchy language. Jesus spoke in everyday Aramaic and the New Testament was written inkoine (common, not classical) Greek so today God speaks to you in everyday language. In this way, you can hear Jesus speak these words to you today. (This is a slightly different twist on the method suggested on pp. 134-135 of ’Savoring Gods Word.)

janjohnson.org

Abiding Monday

Entering Loneliness


"I decided to make a life in the US, and I experienced pain and felt a deep absence of friendship, but then I started to slowly realized that maybe the experience of loneliness and the experience of separation might not be a negative thing. It might, I thought, bring me more in touch with other people's experience of loneliness. If I would not run away from it, but feel it through all the way, it might become fruitful. Then suddenly I had this idea that loneliness which is pain, when you do not run away from it but feel it through and stand up in it and look it right in the face, that there is something there that can be a source of hope, in the middle of the pain there is some hidden gift. I, more and more in my life, have discovered that the gifts of life are often hidden in the places that hurt the most. I am saying that you can stand the pain. I think one of the great challenges of life is to dare to stand in your pain, and to trust that there is something beyond that which is safe. What begins to happen is something like the experience that there is safety beyond the pain, that  if you enter into it, it's not so frightening as you thought it was, and that underneath your loneliness, there is an experience of being held safe...I know it for myself so much that if I experience loneliness or anguish, I distract myself. I go do something so that I don't feel it. But it is always a disappointment, and I am more lonely; I am more anguished.  Then I discovered that if I just stay with it, and live with it to the fullest. Not just accept it, but taste it, chew on it. I would nearly say to myself I am lonely, yes, and let me feel it. I've discovered that there's much more strength in me than I realized, and in a way, the strength is not coming from me, but it is coming indeed from someone who holds me, who loved me long before I came into life, from someone who will love me long after I died. It is not an intellectual thing. Jesus for me is the center of it. Jesus for me is the one who helps me discover that God has loved me before I even was born, and will still love me after I die. The love of God is a love that is there before and after any other human being has touched me. The mystery of knowing Jesus is the mystery of knowing God who embraces me much in a wider and deeper way, more than any human being can do. It sounds quite theoretical, but I have only discovered this gradually in life through much of my own pain, and through much of my own disappointment, and through much of my own running away to other places."
Henri Nouwen in Nouwen Then by Christopher de Vink. p. 134

It's so easy to run from the pain, the discomfort instead of staying with it.

I run from it, to other things, but it is temporary relief, and as Nouwen says, "I am more lonely, I am more anguished."

Do you run from it??

Abiding Monday

I want to thank all of you for your well wishes and prayers.  I am finally feeling more like myself.

I don't like what I see in me when I am sick. Really I just want to go to bed and sleep till I am over it or watch TV to pass the time. I don't like not feeling good. I have lived with my fair share of pain in the form of migraines, and body aches, but I realize I am a "baby" when it comes to being sick.  I see I put life on hold till I am better. I realize I am not good at sucking it up and getting on with life. Now, I'm not being hard on myself, just seeing it for what it is.

But the thing that I hate the most is that I can put my relationship with God on hold till I feel better. I understand that reading while the room is spinning is really not possible, but my relationship is more than just reading his word or books about him. I don't ignore those around me when I am sick, (well not totally) and he is certainly as real and present as those around me if not more so.  I can still speak to him and actively rest in him. Now I did say a few "prayers", Lord make this go away....but really, I could have done much better. I realize I wasted a lot of precious time kind of feeling sorry for myself.

Mary, how about praying for the rest of the people you know that are dealing with much more pain here. Well, actually no I can't thank you very much I am too busy feeling sorry for myself.  Sometimes when things don't work out the way we plan our hearts show up and hit us smack in the face. And really it's not a bad thing to be shown where there is work to be done. Change to be made. Growth to take place.

So, I am not beating myself up here, really I am not.  I know I am accepted and loved, but I also know I want a heart that is not so self-focused.  I don't want to put my life on hold when I don't feel well.  I want to use even that time well. I want to be God aware and God focused so much more than I am.

Abiding Monday

I have been hearing messages, sermons and I have been reading on solitude and silence.  Both fit so well with my word for the year "abide".   As I am looking back I realize I have made progress, but still I am very far from doing it well.  I wanted to share with you a prayer that spoke to my heart last week.

YET THE MIND WANDERS……

Why, O Lord is it so hard for me to keep my heart directed toward you?  Why do the many little things I want to do, and the many people I know, keep crowding into my mind, even during the hours I am totally free to be with you and you alone?  Why does my mind wander off in so many directions, and why does my heart desire the things that lead me astray?  Are you not enough for me?  Do I keep doubting your love and care, your mercy and grace? Do I keep wondering, in the center of my being, whether you will give me all I need if I just keep my eyes on you?

Please accept my distractions, my fatigue, my irritations, and my faithless wanderings.  You know me more deeply and fully than I know myself.  You love me with a greater love than I can love myself.  You even offer me more than I can desire.  Look at me, see me in all my misery and inner confusion, and let me sense your presence in the midst of my turmoil.  All I can do is show myself to you.  Yet, I am afraid to do so.  I am afraid that you will reject me.  But I know – with the knowledge of faith – you desire to give me your love.  The only thing you ask of me is not to hide from you, not to run away in despair; not to act as if you were a relentless despot. 

Take my tired body, my confused mind, and my restless soul into your arms and give me rest, simple quiet rest.  Do I ask too much too soon?  I should not worry about that.  You will let me know.  Come, Lord Jesus, come. Amen.

Eerdman’s Book of Famous Prayers, ed. Veronica Zundel (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1983), p.106.

Also, in reading a study on Solitude and Silence the author suggests starting a file folder for a personal retreat day.  Place a blank sheet of paper in it.  As you move through your days, write on that sheet any passage of Scripture that begs to be pondered.  Toss in the folder any magazine articles that you would like to ponder.  Next to the folder, set books through which God has spoken to you in the past.  

I would also suggest that if you keep a visual journal that you begin to collect images that speak to you.  You never know when an image or passage might suggest a journal page. 

Blessings!