I apologize if today post is...feels fragmented. It's kind of how I am feeling today.
I am having a hard time living out my word for the year.
I am in an uncomfortable place,
my own skin.
I think I read books about God and the Spiritual Life more than the Bible. They are really good books, and contain much truth and they all point me in the right direction. And God uses them in my life in a very good way. But I think that I substitute them for reading God's word...a lot.
So, I decided that from now till Easter I will read two chapters a day. Beginning with Matthew and reading through Luke.
Today I read, "Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute
Oh Father, this is really my deepest hearts desire, but I fear it is buried too deep. I fear it will take some painful digging to get there,
am I willing...
am I willing...
Maybe that's why I don't focus my reading in the Word. They are more than mere good words.
There is power in them...they are living...
But isn't that what I say I want?
His word - Him to change me?
Yes, yes, but I am afraid.
So I am asking myself what it is that I am really afraid of....
At the beginning of Lent my church handed out a calendar of sorts. Each day of Lent has something to do. Some of them are things to give up for the day, some of them are things to do. Some of them will not be hard for me. Some of them will be incredibly difficult.
I thought I would begin to post them weekly...
Monday, March 14th - Write a prayer to God explaining the habits, behaviors, and sins you want to die to.
Tuesday, March 15th - Call someone with whom you have had a falling out and make amends.
Wednesday, March 16th - Fast during the daylight hours.
Thursday, March 17th - Do something that you've been putting off or trying to avoid.
Friday, March 18th - Go for a walk in your neighborhood and pick up any trash you see.
Saturday, March 19th - Spend 30 to 60 minutes in self-imposed silence.