We are such complex beings. We can appear to be one thing, and that thing can be partially true about us, or it can all be an act. We are good at appearing to be one thing on the outside and something entirely different on the inside. Often we try hard to hide what's really true because we fear we will not be liked for who we really are, how could they we think, we do not even like who we are on the inside. I was at that place four years ago.
I am finding it a hard thing to give up old ways of doing life. Patterns can be hard to break when you have lived in them for years and years. God can break patterns and bring healing in an instant, but I am finding for me it is more of a process. It's usually a few steps forward, and one back. I am also learning that that is okay. God does not expect perfection. I have learned that I am not "punished" when I don't live up to some requirement. I have learned that I can be honest about what is true and not hide it...he knows it anyway for goodness sake. It's more about being honest with myself. Agreeing with God about what is true about me and knowing his love is not dependent on my behavior at a given time. His love does not diminish when I screw up!
This is so freeing...to be able to peer under the waterline safely. To be able to begin addressing the junk that causes us to feel or act, or react in certain ways.
Hey you all, check out the shape of this iceberg...looks a bit heart shaped to me.
Grace, Love and Peace.
14 comments:
Hi Mary,
What a lovely post! I see what you mean about the iceberg/heart too, very cool! Happy Memorial Day!
Hey Sweet Mar,
Oh how I have missed you........I love the artwork you have been doing in my absence and CONGRATULATIONS on your etsy shop.....Way to go girl.......I can't wait to place my order........
I can totally relate to your post.......and you are right it certainly is a process of letting go of old habits which is exactly why I needed time away and alone with God.....I feel like I am at a new beginning place and it's exciting but scary at the same time....Life is a journey, uh?
Love you special friend......
it really does look heart shaped. ☺
I have had to learn that also Mar, that we are not punished when we screw up. Sometimes still I have to stop and remind myself to quit thinking that way. I'm so thankful for God's words to me that I can hide in my heart especially for such times as when the Punisher on my shoulder tries to convince of that lie.
I imagine if you and I could talk over a cup of coffee we would find that we have some similar junk stories that we've had to work through, especially left over from childhood. But God is greater!
Love and Hugs,
Lee Ann
love that deep ice heart!
oh, yes, how we need
what are eyes can not see!
xox
I so love the undersides!
Love to you in every
bit and part...all cherished:)
-Jennifer
Once again I feel you are that little fly in my house viewing what is going on and then writing a wonderful post. The words are even words I prayed back to the Lord yesterday. I even cried out, "Lord I feel I am being punished!"
Thanks for sharing from your heart and what God is teaching you...so that I can glean from you.
Hi Mary!
I love that iceberg picture. It's such a good reminder. I'm so happy that you get to stay in a cozy cabin this summer. I can't wait to see pictures. I HOPE Bill doesn't have any problems getting my table and chairs. Yes, I'll show you what it looks like. It's perfect for oatmeal and bird gazing!
I guess when we are younger we act a certain way because we still don't know ourselves, and as we grow older we grow into our skin. We don't have to pretend as much! God helps us with the "knowing" ourselves better part by giving us experiences where we get to see our authentic self. Hopefully, we like what we're becoming! Sometimes we rae harder on ourselves than God is! Patsy from
HeARTworks
Thank you for this word of Grace tonight....much needed....
Oh I forgot to tell ya I see a heart in that ice too...it seems you see them all around you Mar...even in that little pot of Sweet Peas (sorry I thought they were the Poppys) They look more like hearts now!!!! love ya sis.
I too have been working thru all the junk from my childhood for many years, and still have more to go. I fell deeper into the well as I grew older allowing myself be become a co-dependant because I didn't feel worthy therefore choose wrong partner (s), God has such patience with us as His childern, and doesn't judge. He's taught me to love myself because I am worthy! Love you sis for sharing this...we have come a long way!! Bevie
reading all your comments here tonight Mary...they really helped me, along with your post, to not feel so alone in what I perceive as my "mixed-up-ness".....really needed this grace tonight....
thanks, Mary....you're always such a timely gift....
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