Can't believe it's been a year.

Can I really have been blogging for a year? Funny, it seems much shorter. I think of the old saying, "time seems to go by faster the older we get". In some respects that is true. I wonder if it is because we have more responsibilities, or have fuller lives?? Mine is not only fuller but richer because of blogging. I have met some amazing people that I would not have if I did not blog. It continues to amaze me, the connection, the community, the knitting of hearts of so many and we have not even met face to face.

I want to tell you all how much you have enriched my life, what a blessing you all are to me.

Below is my first post, it still rings true for me. I had no idea when I posted it how much it would.

Hugs!!!


Good morning to you all. I thought I would jump into the world of blogging. I have been wanting to begin one for awhile but unsure of how it would do has keep me from trying, but no more.
I had the hardest time trying to think of a title for my blog. In fact, I began setting this up a few months ago and could not come up with a title that spoke to me. So, I set it aside till I could. I was thinking about what I wanted this to be about. I did not want it to just be about me and my journey, but about yours too. Reaching out to others along the path of life. I am finding as I reach inward, it is causing a desire to reach outward as well. Yesterday during a time of reflection, I felt the nudge to come back to this. A title that resonated with me came to mind. A SPLENDID ADVENTURE Yes, that's it!! For that is what I am on. It may not always be fun, but it is splendid none the less. So off we go, and I am trusting it will lead to even more splendid adventures.

Mountain Weekend

My husband Greg and I spent a lovely weekend in the mountains of North Carolina. We stayed at Snowbird Mountain Lodge, a lovely lodge we have been visiting for many years. Though the peak leaf season had passed, it was still beautiful. The weather was perfect. I love this time of year, something about the colors and the smells just seem to speak to me. Warm sweatshirts, sweaters, fleece, spiced cider, hot chocolate, crisp breezes, soups, stews, good books in front of the fireplace, holidays approaching, and family gatherings.

Nestled In Love

Well, when I set out the paint this the other day, the background became something else. It became the one with all the drips on - you know the pretty one!! :) While working on it I messed it up, so I thought I would just go back to my original idea.
So much for the pretty canvas - but such is the process of painting, sometimes as in life it requires detours. I will do another "spill it" later. Anyway, I am really pleased with how this came out. It is 30X40, and it has more texture than it looks here. I can never get an accurate photo of my work. Oh, you can click on the painting and get a better view of the texture.

When I looked up the word nestled, I also found these - close, snug, cuddle, snuggle, sheltered. Words that should speak of home. That do speak of home in Jesus to me.

Blessings!

Here is a background I am working on

This is a background I am working on. It is turning totally different than I had planned. I began it with the intentions of doing a larger version of the heart and home painting I posted a few days back. So I began by adding color. I added gesso over the top to add another layer. The paint was not totally dry and it blended with the paint giving it a softer look. I just started playing with glazes adding layer after layer and this is what came about. I think I really like it. I am taking Carmen's "Spill It" class and used some of her techniques in this. I am not sure what the finished painting will be, but that's okay. I am going to see just where this takes me.

Poem

I was looking through my first visual journal and came across a poem I had included that really spoke to me. I searched to find out the author and found it was only a portion of it. Here it is in full.


Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

Charles C. Finn
September 1966

heart and home two

I grunged up the yellow a bit, and added white dots.

another house painting

This a new painting titled Heart and Home. That seems to be a theme for me at the moment. The second photo is the background, ya think I was influenced by the coffee mug I was using?? lol

Friday morning

Hi everyone, I had a wonderful time in Puerto Rico with my friends. My camera broke right before my trip, but there were wonderful pictures taken by others. I will post some when I get them. The weather was perfect, we had a few afternoon storms, the lightening over the ocean was magnificent - and loud!!!!! I did come home with a cold, and have been laying low all week.

I did manage to do some work from my gut art class. I seem to be drawn to home, and working through what that means to me. past, present and future.

These are the words that are now written around the house.

warm
family
safe
pieces
losses
joy
legacy of generations
anger

Living Water

They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns, that cannot hold water. (Jeremiah 2:13)

But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst, but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.
(John 4:14)

For with You is the fountain of life, in your light we see light. (Psalm 36:9)

May you all have a blessed refreshing Sunday.

I will be out of town till Tuesday, October 20th. If I can I will try to check in on you all, but if I cannot please know you all will be in my thoughts and prayers.

As I rough it on the beaches of Puerto Rico with 6 of my closest friends!! :)

Hugs you all!!!

Journal pages from gut art class