The living of my life has changed, and I am not sure how to live it some days. There are days that the pain is too great. Days that a migraine keeps me on the couch not able to do much of anything. Or days that it's just too hard to move because of the pain.
I am not navigating this new "normal" very well these days. My weight is up. Some of it is excess
inflammation. Some due to just not eating very well. I find food has become a "comfort" for me in spite of the added pain it may cause. And frankly I am having a hard time saying no to a bit of comfort when life feels so shitty.
And I really hate that this is what I am blogging about. I don't want to be one of those people that only talk about how they are feeling...or how bad they are feeling. But this is what I am living right now.
I began a new journal. I am asking myself to not pull back from the hard questions. I am asking myself to be as honest with myself as I can be. (we can be good at keeping truth even from ourselves when we don't want to see it)
I am figuring out how to pace myself. To be gentle with myself, but not be lazy...which I am finding it easy to be in the pain. It's easy to just do nothing when one feels so bad. There are things I can be doing...maybe at a slower pace, but still doing.
Life is a gift not to be wasted. Life is a gift to be lived fully. Even if my fully looks different than someone else's fully, or even my previous fully.
Grace, peace and love to you my friends!