My One Word for the year, waiting, has evolved into more than I ever expected. It has revealed more about my heart than I could have imagined, both good and bad. I find myself waiting in so many different areas of my life and on so many different levels. I am not even sure of all the complexities of it.
Does anyone like to wait? And if we do have to wait, we certainly don't want the wait to be uncomfortable or painful.
Why do we think we should not experience pain, and think of it as our enemy? Sometimes pain can be our friend...i know, but really it can.
I am learning a big thing. I am learning to be okay in all the unfinished pieces of myself. I am not saying growth and change is not needed, they are. But facing myself and my heart in all it's truth as it is, knowing I am totally loved and accepted allows me the freedom to see and admit where those changes need to be made. And sometimes that involves pain. Facing all the unmet desires and longings in my heart. Facing all the ways I have tried to get those met outside of the One who can meet them. Facing how others have let me down time and time again. Facing how I have injured others in my desire to get my needs met on my own.
I know this, there will be more growth and healing.
And I know this, it doesn't always look like I expect.
I kind of feel like I am being unraveled, and I don't always like what I am finding in the process. Let me clarify that. I am not always liking what I find about me, but I am loving what I am finding out about God!
I am learning to be patient in all that is unfinished in me.
I am learning to see me through the eyes of my God, who sees much better than I do, and loves me in all my imperfection and messiness.
I am asking God to grant me the grace to see others through His eyes too!
And bloggy friends, He loves you in all your unfinished! In fact, He adores you! Yes He does!!!!