My One Word for the year, waiting, has evolved into more than I ever expected. It has revealed more about my heart than I could have imagined, both good and bad. I find myself waiting in so many different areas of my life and on so many different levels. I am not even sure of all the complexities of it.
Does anyone like to wait? And if we do have to wait, we certainly don't want the wait to be uncomfortable or painful.
Why do we think we should not experience pain, and think of it as our enemy? Sometimes pain can be our friend...i know, but really it can.
I am learning a big thing. I am learning to be okay in all the unfinished pieces of myself. I am not saying growth and change is not needed, they are. But facing myself and my heart in all it's truth as it is, knowing I am totally loved and accepted allows me the freedom to see and admit where those changes need to be made. And sometimes that involves pain. Facing all the unmet desires and longings in my heart. Facing all the ways I have tried to get those met outside of the One who can meet them. Facing how others have let me down time and time again. Facing how I have injured others in my desire to get my needs met on my own.
I know this, there will be more growth and healing.
And I know this, it doesn't always look like I expect.
I kind of feel like I am being unraveled, and I don't always like what I am finding in the process. Let me clarify that. I am not always liking what I find about me, but I am loving what I am finding out about God!
I am learning to be patient in all that is unfinished in me.
I am learning to see me through the eyes of my God, who sees much better than I do, and loves me in all my imperfection and messiness.
I am asking God to grant me the grace to see others through His eyes too!
And bloggy friends, He loves you in all your unfinished! In fact, He adores you! Yes He does!!!!
7 comments:
If only you could see all the good I see in you....all the change I have seen....and all that is ahead...Yes we do struggle through the good and bad in life..To me it's like a cycle one is here but the other is coming....Acceptance goes along way in riding the waves; acceptance of our fauls and our gifts. Many of my dreams have not materialized but I am learning to trust the Father that His will is perfect. Lately, He has been impressing upon me to stay in the present making the most of each day and not looking too far ahead....
I am amazed sometimes at how much our struggles parallel each other...I hold you up to the Father for Him to fill you with a peace that is beyond understanding....
Love you
I can relate to this in so many ways Mary. This waiting period of mine is continuing to test my patience. Somehow I thought this waiting would be over already, and that it wouldn't involve as much pain as it has. Turns out God had other plans for me. But if this pain in dying to myself brings Him more glory, then I will gladly endure.
May God bless you this week Mary!
Life's complexities, how they can unravel us. The way to wholeness is through vulnerability, it's that kind of honest self-revelation that we find ourselves and the reflection of God within. Beautiful. A journey we are all on whether we know it or not :-)
These are beautiful soul discoveries, Mary. Accepting our unfinished-ness...if He does, than we should too, right ? With love and self-compassion. Oh, that sounds so right...
Sending love and peace your way.
So (so!) beautiful, Mary!
I love peeking into all of your art journals. Your words speak right to the soul.
xo
whoa, i can't say enough how you bless my soul. oh how we will live as {& compassionately embrace} these messy unfinished versions of ourselves. cheers to that ;)
I just picked up a journal that I started & there are pages of how I felt 5 years ago. One of the pages I wrote in was about you & how creating became a place to ask questions, to see differently. I am back in this moment where God is talking to me when I am still & creating. You said journaling allows our hearts to "bubble up" to the surface so we can see whats going on in there.My heart is bubbling over. It was dated Feb23,2013 & it finishes like this, Thank you Mary Freeman, you touched my heart today. Well today is March 29, 2017 & you're still touching my heart. I pray my journey with God honors Him & I sincerely Thank you again.I love visiting here...
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