it is interesting to see as i journey through my first visual journal what was pouring out. i had just turned 51, my two older sons were grown and were on their own. my daughter was in high school. i had spent many years just doing all the things moms do.
there would be times of quiet when i knew all was not as it should be. but i would just push that angst down, cover it up or medicate it with my form of addictions (we all have them) and move on. of course it would rise again, but i was good at pushing it down.
then the day came when i could no longer push it down...i knew God was there, that he was my source of healing, but i needed help weeding through the junk. i needed to begin to peel back the layers of my heart and really get a good look in there.
Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living".
examining our life reveals patterns of behavior and unless we become aware of these pattern we will just keep repeating them.
this process is not an easy or fast one. it's one of pulling weeds that have extremely strong roots. some were planted in childhood.
it takes time and patience.