leaning in

journaling a bit on my ipad...

i have always had a problem with the word "obedience"
just don't like the word, but

i read this and i have a whole new perspective

in Jan Meyers book "Listening to the Voice of Love"she speaks of 3 postures of the heart.
the first being the invitation to respond. she says, 


"even though i desired change, i feared it."


"responding to love, responding to God's voice. obedience is a whole-hearted (hmm, my 2011 word) and, as we will see, sensual response to the voice of Love - it involves our whole being, our deepest self. open that door, and we have no idea what will step across the threshold...


...it will profoundly jostle our well-ordered life
...perhaps we know enough to be afraid he will speak, he will enter
...perhaps we are just afraid of him


the first posture is actually a posture of obedience. God asks for our hearts even though we're afraid to believe we're going to be led into something good as he changes our path, our mind, our ways. but our understanding of obedience has become skewed. if we're honest, we admit that upon hearing obedience, we sag (oh yes i do) inside and reluctantly wait to find out what is expected of us. obedience to God can conjure a "pull yourself up and face what's required of you" salute, like a lineup of soldiers waiting for marching orders. it's not so much a soldier marching because of duty as a person leaning in to hear a voice we've come to trust and wanting to go where it leads."

yes, yes, yes!!

not so much duty - but trust and love

obedience for the sake of obedience...yes i know it has it's place...but this has always been hard for me.

trust


love


to ask someone to follow just because, when they do not love and trust the one asking seems a little much. i think that's why those who do not know, believe or trust Jesus have a hard time understanding our "blind faith" and i understand that. yes, there is that initial leap of faith, that initial moment when God touches your heart and you believe it's true, that Jesus is who he says he is. But that is where the journey begins...as you sit at his feet and learn more of who he is and his heart for you, and he begins to change your heart trust and obedience grows.

it's all relationship is it not...

she also says, "those who obeyed God, pondered his request; they listened and wrestled with his intentions and then said yes, despite the evidence.  Those who did not obey did not listen well - they didn't wrestle with what was being asked - and they missed  Love."


it's okay to wrestle, oh yes it is...


and more, "our English word obey comes from the Hebrew shams. It means "to hear intelligently, attentively, call together, consider, discern, give ear, hear, listen, perceive, understand."


it's engaged 


it's intimate


an invitation for us to say, "What did you just ask? What did you just say? Could I possible have heard you correctly?"


Jan says, "when i understand true obedience, then i can respond with who i am rather than perform as the person i think i should be. i move from fear of the doorknob to anticipation of the relationship, from controlling to surrendering to someone bigger than i am - someone unruly (according to my terms) someone i don't understand and whom i can't fully predict, someone who has good in mind even when i have trouble trusting him to give it."

leaning in....

want to join??