"Once we clearly acknowledge the soul, we can learn to hear it's cries. - Dallas Willard, Renovation Of The Heart."

It takes courage to pursue our dreams. It takes time and patience to unearth buried treasure. But I believe with all my heart that we must do both.


leaning in

journaling a bit on my ipad...

i have always had a problem with the word "obedience"
just don't like the word, but

i read this and i have a whole new perspective

in Jan Meyers book "Listening to the Voice of Love"she speaks of 3 postures of the heart.
the first being the invitation to respond. she says, 

"even though i desired change, i feared it."

"responding to love, responding to God's voice. obedience is a whole-hearted (hmm, my 2011 word) and, as we will see, sensual response to the voice of Love - it involves our whole being, our deepest self. open that door, and we have no idea what will step across the threshold...

...it will profoundly jostle our well-ordered life
...perhaps we know enough to be afraid he will speak, he will enter
...perhaps we are just afraid of him

the first posture is actually a posture of obedience. God asks for our hearts even though we're afraid to believe we're going to be led into something good as he changes our path, our mind, our ways. but our understanding of obedience has become skewed. if we're honest, we admit that upon hearing obedience, we sag (oh yes i do) inside and reluctantly wait to find out what is expected of us. obedience to God can conjure a "pull yourself up and face what's required of you" salute, like a lineup of soldiers waiting for marching orders. it's not so much a soldier marching because of duty as a person leaning in to hear a voice we've come to trust and wanting to go where it leads."

yes, yes, yes!!

not so much duty - but trust and love

obedience for the sake of obedience...yes i know it has it's place...but this has always been hard for me.



to ask someone to follow just because, when they do not love and trust the one asking seems a little much. i think that's why those who do not know, believe or trust Jesus have a hard time understanding our "blind faith" and i understand that. yes, there is that initial leap of faith, that initial moment when God touches your heart and you believe it's true, that Jesus is who he says he is. But that is where the journey begins...as you sit at his feet and learn more of who he is and his heart for you, and he begins to change your heart trust and obedience grows.

it's all relationship is it not...

she also says, "those who obeyed God, pondered his request; they listened and wrestled with his intentions and then said yes, despite the evidence.  Those who did not obey did not listen well - they didn't wrestle with what was being asked - and they missed  Love."

it's okay to wrestle, oh yes it is...

and more, "our English word obey comes from the Hebrew shams. It means "to hear intelligently, attentively, call together, consider, discern, give ear, hear, listen, perceive, understand."

it's engaged 

it's intimate

an invitation for us to say, "What did you just ask? What did you just say? Could I possible have heard you correctly?"

Jan says, "when i understand true obedience, then i can respond with who i am rather than perform as the person i think i should be. i move from fear of the doorknob to anticipation of the relationship, from controlling to surrendering to someone bigger than i am - someone unruly (according to my terms) someone i don't understand and whom i can't fully predict, someone who has good in mind even when i have trouble trusting him to give it."

leaning in....

want to join??


Valerie said...

Yes, yes, yes! I am joining in. Trust and love instead of "shoulding" on myself. Thank you for expressing the desire in my heart!

Jo Reimer said...

I'm here with a resounding YES. You've said what I feel. Thank you.

Jennifer Richardson said...

yes! I'm in.
(and thank God it's okay to
love this!
and you:)

Anonymous said...

This is good. But strip away what others say. Strip away what the author is even telling you. What does Mary think, feel, love, and need? Where are Mary's words? Authors say a lot for us, but finally we must come forth and speak what HE is pouring into our hearts.

Where is your heart? Is it hidden in Christ? Then His heart is also hidden in you. Let obedience rise up and bloom where you are planted. To obey simply means to believe He is who He says He is, and believe with all your heart (because He has now given you HIS heart to do so).

Obedience is not a word to shrink back from, although others make it so. Perhaps we've not understood what it means. To obey is to simply believe God.

jgr said...

Thank you for this post Mary, it's just what I need.
especially the part about:
. . . respond with who i am rather than perform as the person i think i should be. . .

Mary said...

thanks for all comments, even anonymous comments. :)

my words are there, mixed in a bit, maybe i need to use a different color. and my heart echos the authors words. that's why they are posted. i think we can learn much from others on the same journey.

and i agree, obedience is not a word to shrink back on, but i know others have struggled, and may struggle with it as i have...and though we can say yes, we believe and trust, the living it out on a daily basis sometimes isn't that simple...sometimes it's a learning process...we come to trust...as we learn more of who he is.

Nancy said...

I am in, I am in....yes I know what you are saying.....

Life is a process of growing and developing. We start out on milk and progress and I think obedience is a process of growth......

I totally get where you are coming from....

Love you sweet friend,

laurel said...

Wonderful truths, Mary. Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom.

caryjo said...

During the summer of 1970, I was at a Christian summer camp for an evening and the speaker, Bob Mumford, was focusing on Isaiah1:18-19. The Lord laid one particular portion of the well-known vss. on me. Is. 19 says that if you are willing and obedient you will eat the good of the land. Well, I was reasonably obedient as a fairly new Christian, but I was NOT willing. Obeyed so I wouldn't get slammed by God, but struggled to ever be happy to do so. Well, that was laid on me. I still have that verse marked in every Bible. I need to be "willing" to obey. In the past 40 years, the willingness has grown and multiplied over and over. YES,we must obey. But do it with a willing heart towards our Father.

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Leaning in also...great post!! I can relate to every word.

Bev said...

hi my opinion re anon. comments is that they are not valid , if a person will not leave their name to stand by their words then the dont count, please dont let them effect u let alone feel u have to defend yourself ....i have u on my google reader and love your blog ...


LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious said...

Oh I'm leaning in too Mary! I so get your heart and words in this post. I'm a work in progress in this area too.

Thanks for being so real!!

Love ya,
Lee Ann