We are such complex beings. We can appear to be one thing, and that thing can be partially true about us, or it can all be an act. We are good at appearing to be one thing on the outside and something entirely different on the inside. Often we try hard to hide what's really true because we fear we will not be liked for who we really are, how could they we think, we do not even like who we are on the inside. I was at that place four years ago.
I am finding it a hard thing to give up old ways of doing life. Patterns can be hard to break when you have lived in them for years and years. God can break patterns and bring healing in an instant, but I am finding for me it is more of a process. It's usually a few steps forward, and one back. I am also learning that that is okay. God does not expect perfection. I have learned that I am not "punished" when I don't live up to some requirement. I have learned that I can be honest about what is true and not hide it...he knows it anyway for goodness sake. It's more about being honest with myself. Agreeing with God about what is true about me and knowing his love is not dependent on my behavior at a given time. His love does not diminish when I screw up!
This is so freeing...to be able to peer under the waterline safely. To be able to begin addressing the junk that causes us to feel or act, or react in certain ways.
Hey you all, check out the shape of this iceberg...looks a bit heart shaped to me.
Grace, Love and Peace.