"Once we clearly acknowledge the soul, we can learn to hear it's cries. - Dallas Willard, Renovation Of The Heart."

It takes courage to pursue our dreams. It takes time and patience to unearth buried treasure. But I believe with all my heart that we must do both.


Why the ache??

As good as my life is, and it is good. I really do not lack much, and even though times are really hard for so many, we are much better off here than most of the world. But for much of my life there has been this lingering feeling of "is this as good as it gets?" There has been a lingering feeling of "dissatisfaction". Why I ask myself, when from the world's perspective I have it all??? There has been quilt over not being satisfied with my life, it is a good life. Hard things happen, but on the whole it is easy.

Ahhh, we were made for a better place. When God first created the world and humans, it was a perfect place. It is no longer that place. And as good as "here" is sometimes, and sometimes it is really really really good,there is always that ache that comes, is this as good as it gets???? As great as my husband is, he lets me down.
As great as my kids are, they let me down. As wonderful as my stuff is - the satisfaction wears off. As wonderful as the thrill of something is - it never lasts. AND I let those I love down. And I feel guilty for not being satisfied with ALL I have in my life, people and well as physical comforts!!!!

Now I know some might think, well that is the nature of life. Yes, that is the nature of life here - but not what God had planned for us. That is why I have a lingering ache. Why, (if I slow down the busyness long enough to feel) I know in my heart there is more.

The portion below is by John Eldredge's book "The Sacred Romance".

"If for all practical purposes we believe that this life is our best shot at happiness, if this is as good as it gets, we will live as desperate, demanding, and eventually despairing men and women. We will place on this world a burden it was never intended to bear. We will try to find a way to sneak back into the Garden and when that fails, as it always does, our heart fails as well. If truth be told, most of us live as though this life is our only hope.

In his wonderful book The Eclipse of Heaven, A. J. Conyers put it quite simply: “We live in a world no longer under heaven.” All the crises of the human soul flow from there. All our addictions and depressions, the rage that simmers just beneath the surface of our Christian facade, and the deadness that characterizes so much of our lives has a common root: We think this is as good as it gets. Take away the hope of arrival and our journey becomes the Battan death march. The best human life is unspeakably sad. Even if we manage to escape some of the bigger tragedies (and few of us do), life rarely matches our expectations. When we do get a taste of what we really long for, it never lasts. Every vacation eventually comes to an end. Friends move away. Our careers don’t quite pan out. Sadly, we feel guilty about our disappointment, as though we ought to be more grateful.

Of course we’re disappointed—we’re made for so much more. “He has also set eternity in the hearts” (Eccl. 3:11). Our longing for heaven whispers to us in our disappointments and screams through our agony. “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy,” C. S. Lewis wrote, “the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” "

May you all have a blessed day,


mystele said...

mary, i'm so glad you blog your real feelings. i'm glad because i know i'm not alone and because i can tell you that you're not alone.

Marsha said...

Mary, this is so timely for me. My heart always yearns for Home. My earthly home, I disdain. Yes, there are so many things I love about this time on earth, but my heart yearns be beat in Heaven.

My I print this out? I want to share it with my Mom. She's a very discontented person and I feel it will bring up good conversation next week.

Anonymous said...

oh dear, sweet mary....thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself with us and a portion of that book (which I actually have, but haven't yet started because i'm currently reading through a book written by him and his wife stasi, "captivating"). i too feel this way as well and its so comforting to know someone else is out there struggling with the same feelings.

God bless your sweet and transparent heart hon!!


Poetic Artist said...

Thank you for sharing..It is nice to know that there others out there who feel the same..
For we are not alone and for we always have hope on the other side. Yet we forget the help is also on this side..We just forget to ask.

Brandi said...

Mary Mary .. you always seem to share just the right thing at just the right time. I was just trying to figure out myself why I always wonder is this it .. why I always ache for more .. and feel guilty that I feel that way.. what a selfish ungrateful brat. I never thought of it as C S Lewis put it .. I like that .. God did put eternity in our hearts.

Thanks for never being afraid to say whats on your mind! xo xo

Anonymous said...

i thought of that lewis quote as soon as i read your first paragraph ~ made for another world ~ so true. thanks.

crafty capers said...

Hi Mary,
About the leather journal......I just jumped right in and painted straight on the pages. I didn't use any gesso (well not before I painted anyway!) I have used Claudine Hellmuth acrylics and Twinkling H2Os without any problems. Go ahead, jump right in! The biggest challenge will be keeping the journal clean while you work, if you are as messy as me! Can't wait to see what you come up with - it's bound to be beautiful. Kate :-)

Sandy said...

Mary, thanks for leaving me a nice comment. I guess I was blog surfing through friend connect and somehow got to you. I don't ask I just enjoy! That ache you are talking about is something we all feel on occasion, I start doing something I really like,or sit in the sun and usually end up talking or connecting with someone-even strangers! I stay in a lot so I think it's a call to share myself, even in a little way. What a nice lady you are, glad to meet you!

laurel said...

Wonderful post, Mary! Thanks for the reminder and for sharing of yourself. I think too that the ache comes when we are stagnating. We are meant to change and grow in our lives with God and sometimes we get stuck. Dissatisfaction is a good catalyst to get us yearning for movement again.

PCarriker said...

Very wise and touching post! Thank you so much for your well wishes on my anniversary:-)

Anonymous said...

Oh thankyou, Mary, for following my blog - I will read yours with such interest - the moment I have space to myself. Meanwhile, happy art, happy blogging.

Brandi said...

just wanted you to know I would be emailing soon .. gotta clear a few cobwebs out .. been picking a string of them a day .. in the mean time .. thank you for thinking about me and remembering us in your prayers .. I am so joyed that God has crossed our paths!!

The Charm House said...

My dearest Mary... I also have been discouraged lately. I felt as if people were pulling me down with their words and actions. I felt unworthy by their words. When I stood aside and watched, I realize that I also strive for better in life than they did. I cannot wait until the day I meet my Master, sit by Paul, walk with Ruth. Until that time I have to find a way to be happy here and be the person that God so desires me to be. It is hard not stepping into a conversation that will open up the door for trouble, but I now try so hard. I had to let so much go to find the joy and peace in my heart again. Even with my health problems, I am so blessed and I remind myself hourly of it! Our world is in terrible shape right now.. As God's children we can only do our best to be the shining light in the darkness! YOU Mary are a shining light to me, I love you and your heart so much! As soon as the weddings are over with, we will get together! Also, when I think my husband or children let me down... I know that they really slipped and would love to have a re-do! As wonderful as your children and husband are I know it is probably the same with them!
PS~ I have been asked to teach a class to a group of ladies!