"Once we clearly acknowledge the soul, we can learn to hear it's cries. - Dallas Willard, Renovation Of The Heart."

It takes courage to pursue our dreams. It takes time and patience to unearth buried treasure. But I believe with all my heart that we must do both.


WIP or something like that...

i am struggling.  

sometimes painting is downright painful. 

could it be that i feel like crap physically?

threw my back out last Monday...it's on the mend. 

yes, that could be part of it, but sometimes painting is just that, a struggle. 

feeling inadequate, unskilled, insecure...the list could go on.  there have been moments thoughts like, "just give it up" have crept into my mind. 

but then i hear, Mar just paint what you know, play, explore, don't worry about all that you don't know or what you can't do yet....

YET...because the more i paint, the more i play, the more i explore, i learn. 

so i continue the journey...knowing at times there will be struggle and unease...that's okay.  

and sometimes it's more...

We are reaching for the future, we are reaching for the past
And no matter what we have we reach for more.
We are desperate to discover what is just beyond our grasp
Maybe that's what heaven is for.
Still it seems a tragic fate, living with the quiet ache,
the constant strain
for what remains just out of reach.
So when we taste the Divine, it leaves us thirsty every time
for one more taste of what awaits when heaven's gates are reached.

song lyrics "Reaching" by Carolyn Arends


Poetic Artist said...

I know your struggles and it seems I am there also. So we wait and say use me and show me the way..
Hugs and Love my friend.

Bren said...

Oh I so hear your heart. It is so easy to derail ourselves when we face the canvas. Seems the creative process explores our inadequacy as much as our ability. In the end it's what makes the process an exciting struggle. Everything we go through seems to find expression through art, including our pain and limitations. Think you're off to a great start with this canvas Mar, hang in there!

Dosfishes at Sparkle Days Studios said...

Struggling, sitting in the muck, yup but what beauty it brings through your energy here. Hope your back is on the mend. xox Corrine

Janet said...

This sounds just like what I'm going through with my art. I think your painting looks great. Just listen to your heart and you'll be okay.

Valerie said...

Mary, first, your painting looks so good and is powerful! don't stop!! Second, thank you for sharing this. I am so frustrated right now and reading your blog makes me know we should not quit! Abundant blessings to you my Sister!

Art said...

This was beautifully painted!

jgr said...

Pain can be SO distracting-I really hope your back is better soon.
I think this painting is wonderful. I love the colors and bold shapes.
Yes, keep going: all the struggles will be worth it.

Buffy said...

I'm sure the pain is part of it,but I do believe the struggling is also growing. I always feel the same way. Keep going,your painting is off to a beautiful start.

Jill said...

Don't listen to the enemy...he always discourages us from Glorifying God, which is what you are doing in this awesome painting. DON'T STOP!!
love to you, jill

Mechelle said...

I hope you feel better Mary.

Julie-ann Frances said...

Mary I'm so please i found you and wow, your art is awesome, you've been so busy in a grand and beautiful way! Love em all!
I've changed my blog account to julieannfrances.blogspot.com
:) Julie

Julie-ann Frances said...

Thank you so much Mary I had such a huge smile seeing your face on my following list! :)

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Prayers for you right now for healing...both physical and emotional. I am not painting but I did fight just wanting to quit this week...sometimes I can't figure it all out.

I am so glad we know the one who does the figuring for us...and on His strength we can rely

Last week He encouraged me with the child's song..High Hopes! So I pray you think of that little old ant, or the ram who pushed the hole in the dam....my your high hopes come to past with help of our Lord.

Jennifer said...

Oh, I LOVE Carolyn Arends!
And I looooove your painting.
And feeling you.....understand deeply
what you wrote
and how your struggle.
And I cheer you on with so much love
and thanks
for who you are!

LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious said...

Oh Mary, I'm so sorry about your back. You know I threw mine out a few weeks back. Give yourself some time to heal and rest. So often what you say reminds me so much of myself!!! I feel all of those insecure feelings too and have thought about throwing the towel in on my creating etc... I guess we All go through those emotions and it is just really OKAY.

You and your words and ART encourage my heart so much Mary. You have no idea how dear you are to me.

Love you dear girl,
Lee Ann

Pamela Holderman said...

Oh yuck, feel better soon. And yes and it does seem like maybe 80% of what I make is so hard and such a struggle and then such a small part just shines and I finally feel like it's getting there. That glimpse keeps us coming back for more doesn't it?

Hands to Work, Hearts to God said...

Sorry to hear about your back! I like your painting! Sometimes I feel like you too- but you just have to keep going! God gives us gifts on the journey! Patsy from

Bevie said...

Wow you have just discribed the feelings I've been having since before my knee surgery. There's the feeling of "why do I continue to think I'm good at it. The only thing I can say is I feel great when I'm trying to create something new whether it be on canvas or crocheting something or making jewelry. It's the creating isn't it???

Bev said...

omg, i can sooooo relate to this post...trying to get myself back to center...
hang in there, do what you love...your art is beautiful mary...

Vicki @ Light for the Creative Soul said...

Hi Mary! I sure have missed you. This has been a rough year for me, physically and emotionally. Finally starting to write again, but so busy with the jewelry, too. (necessity is the mother of invention, they say). Anyway, I love your art AND your heart. Don't push yourself too much when you're feeling bad...rest and recover. I haven't picked up my art journal in weeks. You were the one person who believed in me, and always encouraged me. I'll always remember that. Praying you'll soon feel some relief with that back. Much love, V.