"Once we clearly acknowledge the soul, we can learn to hear it's cries. - Dallas Willard, Renovation Of The Heart."

It takes courage to pursue our dreams. It takes time and patience to unearth buried treasure. But I believe with all my heart that we must do both.



I have been playing with some new products I purchased for my workshops.  I have used Adirondack Color Wash before (have just order some of the new and improved ones) but have never used Glimmer Mist. I like the way the Glimmer Mist sprays, it seems to come out a bit easier than the old Adirondack Color Wash.  I think the new and improved version of ACW is supposed to have a finer spray than the old.  I"ll let you all know when it arrives and have played with it a bit.  

I am reading "The Journey of Desire" by John Eldredge again. I began this book a few years ago, but don't think I ever finished it. I am really bad about beginning another book in the process of reading one and not getting the first one finished. And it's not like I got bored with the first or did not like it...I just got distracted as I do with a lot of things in life.  

This life we live has some incredible moments of deep satisfaction. But there are also moments of deep dis-contentment. I used to ignore those feelings, saying to myself that I really am asking for too much. I should be happy as life is...I have so much...but the nagging feeling that there is more stays.

"There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake...Our true identify, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire." 
The Awakened Heart, by Gerald May

Yet hints come to me from the realm unknown;
Airs drift across the twilight border land,
Odored with life;
...whispers to my heart are blown 
That fill me with a joy I cannot speak, 
Yea, from whose shadow words drop faint and weak.
Diary of an Old Soul - George MacDonald

"The heart has it's reasons which reason knows not of."
Blaise Pascal

"When the desire is too much to bear, we often bury it beneath frenzied thoughts and activities or escape it by dulling our immediate consciousness of living. It is possible to run away from the desire for years, even decades, at a time, but we cannot eradicate it entirely. It keeps touching us in the little glimpses and hints in our dreams, our hopes, our unguarded moments."
The Awakened Heart, Gerald May

 "The secret that begins to solve the riddle of our lives is simply this: we are the sea lion who lost the sea. Life as usual is not the life we truly want. It is not the life we truly need. It is not the life we were made for. If we would only listen to our hearts, to what G. K. Chesterton called "divine discontent", we would learn the secret of our existence."
The Journey of Desire, John Eldredge

"Our Creator would never have made such lovely days, and given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal." 
Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Something awful has happened; something terrible. Something worse, even, than the fall of man. For in that greatest of all tragedies, we merely lost Paradise - and with it, everything that made life worth living. What has happened since is unthinkable: we've gotten use to it. We're broken in to the idea that this is just the way things are. The people who walk in great darkness have adjusted their eyes. Regardless of our religious or philosophical beliefs, most of us live as though this life is pretty much the way things are supposed to be. We dismiss the whispers of joy with a cynical "Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt." That way we won't have to deal with the haunting." 
John Eldredge

What good will it be for man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? 
Matthew 16:26

Simone Weil said, "There are only two things that pierce the human heart, beauty and affliction." 

"Moments we wish would last forever and moments we wish had never begun." John Eldredge

I travel my days living with the angst and ignoring it. I want to learn better how to live gently with the discontentment that is inevitable in this present life. To not expect too much, but not settle for too little as well. To live fully in every moment with my heart open despite the pain it may receive.

I am not doing well with this balancing thing right now...I close up when things get hard.  I want to ignore them or scream my head of...

I know this post is too long, but I have this feeling that I am not alone in these feelings, and I wanted you to know you are not alone in them as well. 

Here's the story of "The Sea Lion" if you want to read it...and you want to read it.

Grace and peace


Dosfishes at Sparkle Days Studios said...

The struggling is so part of who we are, I, like you, want to push it away, but it's just as necessary for our spirits as the bliss. Lovely post. xox Corrine

...Darlene said...

I so enjoy your post. Make me think. I am dry and have been dry for sometime. I know where to go to find the Sea, the Water of Life. But I seem to want to continue to wallow in my mud, just seems easier at times.

Kim Mailhot said...

I know this struggle too of course. I am beginning to truly believe that the "hard stuff" is just inevitable in this world and our job is not to ignore it, or get consumed by it but to love through it. That is the hardest job...but I think it is the one that will bring us closest to Being what we were really put on this planet to be.
And yes, knowing that we are struggling thorugh this and also loving one another through it, is a treasured blessing.
Light and love to you, Beautiful Mary !

Nancy said...

Mar, your post today has taken me to a place I didn't want to go....It's easier to ignore that discontent or get busy and then just when you think you've settled in, you get a twinkle that says "there's more"....are you willing to go after it"? You are definitely not alone.....I know many gals struggling with this issue......you get a touch of His hand or see Him in the beauty of something but it's like scales on my eyes....I cannot hold it.....

Balancing, yes.......I struggle with balance everyday....struggling to be more of Him and less of me......We struggle together and hold each other up and appreciate the clarity we get.....

A post to ponder so thank you sweet friend for being iron sharpening iron today.....

Love you girl,

LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious said...

I hear you Mar! I have the same struggle. I usually try to ignore those feelings when I don't know what to do with them. Then after awhile they've added up to a bundle and it hits me harder. Jesus is my only true comfort. But I would like to know for sure that I am balancing correctly. I don't feel I can always trust my human frailty and yet I hope I am not dismissing parts of me that I need to become all God designed me to be.

I look forward to reading more posts from you on this subject and through this book you are finishing. I need to hear it all too!

♥Lee Ann

Bren said...

The heart knows, that place of spirit with all it's resilience. Great post, read John's book a few times myself.
Looking forward to your tips and insights on the new products, helps the rest of us know if it's something we would enjoy using :-)

Jennifer Richardson said...

oh I'm so with you, Mary
....the sea lion who has lost the sea.
I feel that deep hunger; I wonder if we're
truly alive when it goes numb.
I love these quotes and will come back and
jot some down to keep and savor.
Beautiful share....thanks.
(oh, and I love the typed script!)

Valerie said...

Oh Mary, you are not alone! Thank you for sharing the beautiful art that reflects the quotes you put on this post and wrote. It is just what I needed!

mystele said...

just loving your "new" journal pages. the sense of experimentation and freedom is wonderful and refreshing.

Ophelia said...

Beautiful post Mary!!! Gorgeous page as always! Love it!

rachel awes said...

my heart
sure loves
your space

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Well once again I think you were following me around my house listening to my thoughts. I read this book years ago and probably need to read it again...many of his words were coming back to me as I struggle through my thoughts this week. I am wondering if God is trying to ignite some dreams and hearts desires, and I am putting water on them because of past disappointments.

I have just finished "Fresh Brewed Life" by Nicole Johnson...a second reading, first read 10 years ago...she stirs those deep desires also.

Great post..goes so well with the word God had given me in January...so I need to go back and seek His face again in this area.

Hillary said...

The flowers made out of hearts are SO beautiful, and I love the quotes you put in your blog. They are very inspirational :)

lori vliegen said...

your journal pages and your use of rich, bold color makes my heart want to sing, sing, sing!! thank you for sharing them......and thanks for all of the lovely, wonderful thoughts you've shared, too!! xoxo

laurel said...

Great post as always. It seems to me that there are ebb and flows to change in our lives. We become discontent which at some point works itself into change. We then have to spend some time adjusting to the change/area of new and many times painful growth and then we move into a new area to begin the cycle again. Life is the journey that never ends e en though sometimes we get to stop and rest a bit.

On another note, don't you just love glimmer mist? I'm getting ready to play with the Ranger ones soon. Love your journal page.

JaneH said...

Just discovered your blog and love it! And thanks to you I've spent the last half-hour traveling around the Internet following links and coming away with a sense of wonder --- and thankfulness.