Last week was a restless week for me - it continues. I seem to do everything else, but quiet my heart long enough to spend any quality time with my Lord. I wrote in my journal Thursday, "Why do I hide from you? Why do I jump to do anything other than spend time with you?" I wonder if there is a heart attitude I do not want to face.
Does anyone else ever feel this way??
I was spending some time in Psalm 63 last week. Verse 8 says, "My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."
To adhere closely
to remain attached
Similar to abide.
What do I cling to? Is it a list of rules, is it man made traditions?
Verse 5 says, "My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips."
To put an end to a desire, want, need by sufficient or ample provision.
Jesus says, "I am sufficient enough for you."
I cling to Jesus!
So, where does that leave me. You know I don't have any specific answer to my restlessness, but I do have clues. I have been here enough times that I know usually it means there is something I need to address with my Lord. Or he is wanting to take me a little deeper into my heart. I am learning to not fight or ignore the restlessness. It is uncomfortable, but it is necessary.
I fear this entry is as disjointed, as I feel, but it is what I have for today.
Sometimes our hearts are messy.