A SPLENDID ADVENTURE

another spread

2012-01-30T11:43:00.000-05:00

can you see the difference between the first and second journal page?

a lot of times after i have taken a photo of my work i can see areas that may need something.

i added more hearts in the lower left hand corner to balance it a bit more, and added some red in the crease of the heart. as i look at it some more i see that maybe it needs a few blue circles on the left side of the heart, or not.

"If there's ever a tomorrow where we are not together, there is something

you must always remember. You are braver than you believe,

and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think,

but most important of all, even if we are apart,

I'll always be with you."

~ A. A. Milne

journaling

2012-01-29T14:44:00.001-05:00

new journal spread done from journal prompt about body image i had prepared for Saturday's workshop

which did not happen

it was supposed to be for teens, when i called the library to check on the numbers i was told there was a nine year old coming...when i inquired further they told me they were all under 12

i usually teach adults, and agreed to do this workshop with teens 13 and up

i really felt this would not work with such a young group so it was canceled

so i will use this prompt for my next women's workshop i think. we all have issues with body image and it may be good to explore what God has to say verses what we believe and what the world tells us.

grace and peace

serendipity...or not...

2012-01-27T10:39:00.000-05:00

it's still rainy and overcast here, but i think i got a better shot of this.

oh, and look at all the acorns that dropped this year...a lot of them have been disposed of...this is the rest.

imagine these hitting a tin roof or getting hit in the head walking to the car... :)

back to the painting...

when i was working on this i did not really have a story in mind. however, as i added certain stencils they did have meaning for me.

little bits, but not seeing it as a whole till i was finished.

if you look closely there is a background outline of a person...a very primitive one

this was not meant to be a specific person, actually it was a failed attempt to do something

i did not like it, that's when i began to stencil

here is what i see

a hand pointing to Jesus
arrows pointing upward
hand prints of God
peace sign...there is only real peace in Jesus
stop
men running
heart
even some drips running down the body
x's

stop running
look up
real peace is offered
real life is offered
real love covers our mess
our debt has been canceled

oh how i love when this happens

smelly painting

2012-01-25T17:31:00.002-05:00

the light is fading, i will take a better photo tomorrow

usually this is an under-painting

i usually continue on to add layers of paint which leave bits and pieces of the stenciling peeking through

but i think i may leave this. may go back and outline some, maybe add a few words, but i think i like the feel of this

i cannot explain why i am so drawn to this busy, graphic, graffiti, messy, explosion of color...

this is hanging outside, front door open and fan going in the studio...

sprayed in my studio

should have sprayed outside

with a mask

feeling kind of gross right now

workshop feedback

2012-01-23T11:25:00.000-05:00

it is so fulfilling when you hear something that validates what you feel God has called you to. very soon after my journey with visual journaling began, i felt the pull to share how God uses this to show us our hearts. how we can use it to explore them and what is going on internally.

after saturday's workshop i received a request from a lovely young woman asking if she could share a bit about it and how it has impacted her life and art on her blog. i wanted to share it with you. i want to celebrate not me (though it is thrilling to be used) but God and what he is doing.

thank you Isabel.

you can visit Isabel here

On Saturday, I attended an art journaling workshop taught by artist Mary Freeman, who is an incredible lady. After the very first time I attended this workshop, I can easily say my art was never the same. The central message of these workshops is that the art you create is not supposed to be a masterpiece but instead is supposed to be an outlet for you to speak and reflect on your life. In short, its a form of art therapy. You don’t have the pressure to make everything look “perfect” and can just freely experiment with all the cool supplies Mary Freeman brings to each class. You don’t have to be an amazing artist. You don’t even have to know how to draw a straight line!

And what makes these workshops even more powerful for me is the fact that my faith can also be intertwined with my art. Every class, Mrs. Freeman has Bible verses to share and stories that serve as prompts for the day. I love it most when my God gets involved with my art because, for me, true therapy is achieved through him. But, regardless of your faith, anyone can come to these journal workshops and anyone can be inspired by Mary Freeman’s amazing work!

Above I attached a few pages of hers that particularly inspired me on Saturday.

new journal page and stuff

2012-01-19T11:53:00.004-05:00

working in my journal a bit. i seem to be drawn to it more these days. i make such a mess when i do one though. i started this one trying to make it a little "prettier", but i really don't begin to like them until i grunge them up a bit. i wonder sometimes, if my internal struggles have something to do with that. then again, i think i think too hard and much sometimes...

i have a workshop this Saturday and have much to do. i also am beginning another women's night out visual journaling series at Out of The Box art studio in Roswell next Thursday.

i am doing a workshop at a local library in a few weeks. i think it will be a younger group, mostly teens. i have been thinking about doing a journal prompt on body image for this workshop. i don't think there is person out there who does not struggle with this on some level.

off to get supplies

around the house

2012-01-14T13:19:00.001-05:00

there is something about this little corner i love

and i love this little space with the stacked books and framed print

also love my little collection of succulents and rocks the smaller ones from Kim

it's cold here today, more like January is supposed to be

hope you all are having a great Saturday and doing something you love

grace and peace

wanting more

2012-01-12T14:28:00.000-05:00

a few new journal pages. i have not worked in my journal since November.

i sat down and thought i had forgotten it all, but as i began to add paint it

got a little easier.

well for some bizarre reason i cannot get the above photo to load horizontally, i even changed the size of it. any ideas? and i just realized my tears/raindrops are upside down, oh well...

...she began to listen to God by listening to her heart, to her life. she had crossed the threshold everyone is called to when called to obedience - the threshold where God says, "Please listen, because I want to reveal myself to you. i hold the answers. and if i never reveal the answers to you, i will reveal myself to you.
(Listening to Love)

do i want answers?

yes!

but i want God more.

grace and peace

Sunday musings

2012-01-08T11:07:00.000-05:00

(done on iPad using sketchbook express app)

i must admit that i was a little miffed at the anonymous comment left on my last post.

it was not an un-kind comment, but when i read it i immediately wanted to defend myself.

i have learned that when that happens i need to stop and ask myself the question why?

so i did.

i really do think it's okay to use other writers, especially when what they say is what you

would say if you could. but the questions anonymous left, "what does Mary think, believe...

made me realize it would be good to sit down and write just that.

i think i will make it an ongoing process...to keep writing what i believe...

so here is the beginning of my list, they are in no particular order...just thoughts flowing

from my mind and heart.

i believe we live in a fallen world

that we are all broken and in need of healing and restoration

i believe the world we live in is not the world we were created for

we were made for relationship with the God of the universe

i believe we are a stubborn people, thinking and choosing our own path, wanting to control our life

i believe when we take control we screw it up...

i believe there is a God who loves us enough to give up all to come to earth as a baby, walk this life sinless, giving his life to bring me/us back into relationship with the Father to restore, heal, change me

i believe he is good, even when i can't see it

i believe he wants what is best for me always, even if the process of achieving it causes me pain

i believe this journey to restoration, wholeness is a life long process and will not be finished till God takes me home or he comes again.

i believe though God is changing, working in my heart there is still more of me than him

i believe i still want my way more than his a lot of the time

i believe i am loved in my mess

i believe that nothing i do, good or bad changes that fact

i believe i want God's will for me in the deepest part of me

i know i struggle with selfishness

i believe there is an enemy of my soul, who desires to crush my heart, make me feel defeated, unlovable, worthless, un-restorable. who desires me to question the goodness of God and his heart toward me

i believe i am in a battle, and it's worth the fight

i believe life is hard and discouraging at times

i believe we need each other on the journey

and that the enemy uses my companions and loved ones to wound my heart, as he uses me to wound their's (meaning my words and actions)

i believe i am forgiven because of what Jesus accomplished on the cross...and only because of Jesus

all Jesus, even now...all Jesus

i know he is not finished with me

that he has a purpose for me

that i am not where i want to be in my journey

that i still struggle...

grace and peace to you

leaning in

2012-01-07T11:27:00.002-05:00

journaling a bit on my ipad...

i have always had a problem with the word "obedience"
just don't like the word, but

i read this and i have a whole new perspective

in Jan Meyers book "Listening to the Voice of Love"she speaks of 3 postures of the heart.
the first being the invitation to respond. she says,

"even though i desired change, i feared it."

"responding to love, responding to God's voice. obedience is a whole-hearted (hmm, my 2011 word) and, as we will see, sensual response to the voice of Love - it involves our whole being, our deepest self. open that door, and we have no idea what will step across the threshold...

...it will profoundly jostle our well-ordered life
...perhaps we know enough to be afraid he will speak, he will enter
...perhaps we are just afraid of him

the first posture is actually a posture of obedience. God asks for our hearts even though we're afraid to believe we're going to be led into something good as he changes our path, our mind, our ways. but our understanding of obedience has become skewed. if we're honest, we admit that upon hearing obedience, we sag (oh yes i do) inside and reluctantly wait to find out what is expected of us. obedience to God can conjure a "pull yourself up and face what's required of you" salute, like a lineup of soldiers waiting for marching orders. it's not so much a soldier marching because of duty as a person leaning in to hear a voice we've come to trust and wanting to go where it leads."

yes, yes, yes!!

not so much duty - but trust and love

obedience for the sake of obedience...yes i know it has it's place...but this has always been hard for me.

trust

love

to ask someone to follow just because, when they do not love and trust the one asking seems a little much. i think that's why those who do not know, believe or trust Jesus have a hard time understanding our "blind faith" and i understand that. yes, there is that initial leap of faith, that initial moment when God touches your heart and you believe it's true, that Jesus is who he says he is. But that is where the journey begins...as you sit at his feet and learn more of who he is and his heart for you, and he begins to change your heart trust and obedience grows.

it's all relationship is it not...

she also says, "those who obeyed God, pondered his request; they listened and wrestled with his intentions and then said yes, despite the evidence. Those who did not obey did not listen well - they didn't wrestle with what was being asked - and they missed Love."

it's okay to wrestle, oh yes it is...

and more, "our English word obey comes from the Hebrew shams. It means "to hear intelligently, attentively, call together, consider, discern, give ear, hear, listen, perceive, understand."

it's engaged

it's intimate

an invitation for us to say, "What did you just ask? What did you just say? Could I possible have heard you correctly?"

Jan says, "when i understand true obedience, then i can respond with who i am rather than perform as the person i think i should be. i move from fear of the doorknob to anticipation of the relationship, from controlling to surrendering to someone bigger than i am - someone unruly (according to my terms) someone i don't understand and whom i can't fully predict, someone who has good in mind even when i have trouble trusting him to give it."

leaning in....

want to join??

more on listening

2012-01-05T09:11:00.000-05:00

i have been doing a little searching on my word for the year.

definitions are:
to give attention with the ear (and i say heart)
attend closely for the purpose of hearing
to pay attention
to heed
to obey
to wait attentively for a sound
to listen for sounds of their return

informal definition - to convey a particular impression to the hearer; sound: "The new recording doesn't listen as well as the old one."

related forms:
listener
re-listen
un-listen

to listen is to try to hear, to hear is simply to perceive with the ear... (i believe it is more)

at least for me it's more...there is a reason for the listening.

there are tons of synonyms:
hear
interested
attending
attentive
accept
admit
adopt
audit
catch
concentrate
entertain
get
mind
monitor
obey
observe
receive

more later

grace and peace

oh, i got an ipad...doing a little playing on it

Beginnings

2012-01-04T11:02:00.003-05:00

a fresh new year

open, ready to receive

i wait, anticipating how 2012 will unfold

i have struggled with choosing my word for the year, one little word pregnant with possibilities

this year is no different, and may in fact be fuller than most

LISTENING

to the voice of

LOVE

i have much to share with this word, but for now i want to leave you with this excerpt from a book i am beginning. "Listening to Love, responding to the startling voice of God", by Jan Meyers.

"What is it about us that we would either dismiss him or cower before him? Why are our hearts persuaded that he is either powerless or malevolent when in fact he would choose the humiliation of spittle on his face, splinters in his skin, and steel through his bone to answer the question, :Is it really you? Why do we listen to the mocking voice of evil or the faulty reasoning we extrapolate from our own stories and life messages rather than the truth that someone would want to die for us, defeat death for us, go back to the Father with our ransom in his hands and talk to the Father about us, pleading our case? And perhaps a more courageous question: what causes us to quake, not with the fear of the Lord - Jesus Christ of Nazareth - but before the God of our Worst Fear?"

"Our Worst Fears take many forms: God will not remember me. God will shame me for what I've been involved in. God will get my hopes up and then dash them. God will ask too much of me. God will leave me alone."

"...our gods - the need to secure our reputation in the marketplace, the voice telling us that the most important this is to be liked, the pattern of isolation we fall into when we guard ourselves with a routine of work and television, the belief that we must keep up the facade of a perfect Christian family, you can't be wrong, you have to come through, you must alter yourself, you must get it right or make sure you fake your way; convince everyone. The gods of our fear drive us from behind with threats of abandonment, requirement, and rejection if we fail to appease them. Then they offer the way to appease them - hide. Hide in obvious way, through pornography or materialism, and in less obvious ways, through self-condemnation or pride."

"There is safety - these gods do keep us from facing what we fear about God - for a while. Appeasing this fear - playing with our self-crafted appeasement trinkets - keeps us very busy as we hide our heart from God? As long as we have our Worst Fear to cower behind, we never have to face our unbelief in Love."

"Discovering the Love that doesn't want or need to be appeased but desires all of us - longing for us to be alive, confident, free - is a great thing. So why is the process so frightening? Let me say it this way: when we open the door to God, he comes to remove the obstacles in the way of our knowing the fullness of Love. He takes away our pride, our autonomy, our religion, sometimes our vocation, possibly our life. And as we'll see, he does this for our freedom."

in the next several days i will share more on this word and it's meaning to me.

grace and peace

2011-12-25T10:19:00.002-05:00

M e r r y

C h r i s t m a s

"The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a mighty savior, he will rejoice over you with gladness, and renew you in his love; he will sing joyfully because of you, as one sings a festivals.

Zephaniah 3:17

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T08:46:00.005-05:00

Isaiah 62:1-5; Psalm 88; Acts 13:16-17, 22-25

"If we have neglected the spiritual call of Advent for yet another year, and have allowed ourselves to become thoroughly frazzled by December 24, all is not lost. We are, in face, in very good shape for Christmas.

It is precisely because we are weary, and poor in spirit, that God can touch us with hope. This is not an easy truth. It means that we accept our common lot, and take up our share of the cross. It means that we do not gloss over the evils we confront every day, both within ourselves and without. Our sacrifices may be great. But as the martyred archbishop of El Salvador, Oscar Romero, once said, it is only the poor and hungry, those who know they need someone to come on their behalf, who can celebrate Christmas.

Tonight we are asked to acknowledge that the world we have made is in darkness. We are asked to be attentive, and keep vigil for the light of Christ. The readings are not particularly comforting. Psalm 88, a lament which is also commonly read on Good Friday, is stark in its appraisal: "For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol," the underworld of the dead. The passage from Acts asks us to consider that, just as Israel needed God to lead them out of Egypt, so we need Christ to lead us out of our present slavery to sin. We, and our world, are broken. Even our homes have become places of physical and psychological violence. It is only God, through Jesus Christ, who can make us whole again.

The prophecy of Isaiah allows us to imagine a time when God's promise will be fulfilled, and we will no longer be desolate, or forsaken, but found, and beloved of God. We find a note of hope also in the Gospel of Matthew. In the long list of Jesus' forbears, we find the whole range of humanity: not only God's faithful, but adulterers, murderers, rebels, conspirators, transgressors of all sorts, both the fearful and the bold. And yet God's purpose is not thwarted. In Jesus Christ, God turns even human dysfunction to the good."

The genealogy of Jesus reveals that God chooses to work with us as we are, using our weaknesses, even more than our strengths, to fulfill the divine purpose. At tonight's vigil, in a world as cold and cruel and unjust as it was at the time of Jesus' birth in a stable, we desire something better. And in desiring it, we come to believe that it is possible. We await its coming in hope."

We await HIS coming...again.

O God, who spoke all creation into being:

When you created human flesh, we betrayed you by our disobedience.
When you led us out of slavery in Egypt, we doubted and defied you.
Yet you chose to come among us through your Son, Jesus Christ, who suffered death on our behalf, putting an end to the power of sin and death.
For this great gift of your steadfast love, we give you thanks.
Help us, O Lord, to keep vigil this night.
Help us to watch for the signs of your coming into our midst, not in the splendid palaces of power, but in hearts humbled by need.
Help us to believe that the darkness of cruelty and sin will never overcome the light, and the mercy, of Christ.
Help us to endure, knowing that the evil and injustice of this world cannot prevail against your Word.
We ask this in the name of your Word made flesh, our Savior, Jesus Christ.
(God With Us)

Please do not leave this most precious of gifts unwrapped this Christmas.

Thank you for you friendship, support and encouragement. May you all have a joy-filled, love-filled, grace-filled day celebrating the One that makes Christmas, Christmas.

Grace and peace

Twelve Days of Christmas

2011-12-23T08:26:00.002-05:00

Do you remember the song Twelve Days of Christmas? Not one of my favorites. At least until I learned the history of the song.

"From 1558 until 1829 Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: The surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember."

Twelve Days of Christmas

A partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ
Two turtle doves are the Old and New Testaments
Three French hens stand for faith, hope and love
Four calling birds are the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Five golden rings recall the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament
Six geese a-laying stand for the six days of creation
Seven swans a-swimming represent the seven-fold gifts of the Holy Spirit - prophesy, serving, teaching, exhortation, contribution, leadership and mercy
Eight maids a-milking are the eight beatitudes
Nine ladies dancing are the nine fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control
Ten lords a-leaping are the ten commandments
Eleven pipers piping stand for the eleven faithful disciples
Twelve drummers drumming symbolize the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed

Makes me think about it a little differently.

Grace and peace to you

Fourth Thursday of Advent

2011-12-22T09:27:00.002-05:00

Judges 13:2-7, 24-25a; Matthew 1:18-24

"Today our readings ask us to reflect on a mystery: when our lives are most barren, when possibilities are cruelly limited, and despair takes hold, when we feel most keenly the emptiness of life - it is then that God comes close to us...but we are not without hope, for it is because we are so empty, having used the last scrap of our own resources, that God can move in".(Kathleen Norris, God With Us)

Emmanuel

"The promise of Isaiah that we heard at the beginning of Advent is now closer to fruition, if we will only pay attention to the signs: "The wilderness and the dry land's shall be glad, the desert shall rejoice and bloom." Now, as the world clamors for more toys and loud festivity, is the time for us to put first things first, and seek silence, if only for a few precious minutes a day. Now is the time when, ever more intently, we are to watch and listen for God." (Kathleen Norris, God With Us)

Emmanuel

God is with us

Father, may we stop, watch and listen for you.

Fourth Wednesday of Advent

2011-12-21T07:51:00.002-05:00

Psalm 25:1-14; Malachi 3:1-5; Luke 1:57-66

"It helps to ask ourselves the question Jesus so often asks the disciples: "Why are you afraid?" It helps to recall the burning bush God set before Moses, for God's fire did not destroy it. If we truly trust in God, we find more assurance than terror in the thought that God wants to purify us, so that everything false in us turns to ash, and only the good and true remain. To suffer is not a gentle thing, but the end results is pure honey."

"This child was named by God, and it does not go easy for those who are touched by God's hand. "What, then," the people wondered, "will this child become?" I hear, in that question a restating of Malachi's truth. The Lord we desire may indeed be close at hand, but it will not be easy for us to accept his call. If we continue reading in the Gospel, we find the song that Zechariah sings in praise of God, called the "Benedictus" in church tradition, and commonly recited at Morning Prayer. In this song, we find that it is not merely John the Baptist, but we ourselves who are addressed: "And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his way, to give knowledge of salvation to his people by the forgiveness of their sins."

"This was John's calling, and it is our own, a truth both consoling and terrifying. We are enslaved, by selfishness and addiction and all the wreckage that sin can wreck on the world, but are we willing to risk being freed? Do we dare to enter that dangerous new country, leaving sure comforts behind? Perhaps it is time to surrender, open our hearts, and accept the wonder of Christmas by saying, with Karl Rahner, "We have not choice, God is with us." (Kathleen Norris, God With Us)

Come Lord, set us free!

Amen.

Let it be.

Fourth Tuesday of Advent

2011-12-20T08:26:00.001-05:00

Psalm 113; 1 Samuel 1:19-28; Luke 1:46-56

"The Magnificat reminds us that what we most value, all that gives us status - power, pride, strength, and wealth - can be a barrier to receiving what God has in store for us. If we are full of ourselves, there will be no room for God to enter our hearts at Christmas." (Kathleen Norris, God With Us)

All those things that we spend so much time on, all those things that we work so very hard to achieve, do not bring us lasting fulfillment. They were never meant to.

"Most people, if they have really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise. The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love, or first think of some foreign country, or first take up some subject that excites us, are longings which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy. I am not now speaking of what would be ordinarily called unsuccessful marriages, or holidays, or learned careers. I am speaking of the best possible ones. There was something we have grasped at, in that first moment of longing, which just fades away in reality. I think everyone knows what I mean. The wife (or husband) may be a good wife, and the hotels and scenery may have been excellent, and chemistry may be a very interesting job: but something has evades us.

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." ~ C. S. Lewis

Father, help us leave room in our hearts for you. For truly you are what our hearts deepest desire is, even when we are unaware of it. If there is too little room for you because we have filled it with too many other things, show us what needs to go. May we make room for you this Christmas.

Amen

Fourth Monday of Advent

2011-12-19T07:41:00.002-05:00

Psalm 33:1-5, 20-22; Zephaniah 3:14-18a; Luke 1:39-45

"Do not be weighed down by the clutter in your life: lots of little chores to do sometime, in no particular order. If you focus too much on these petty tasks, trying to get them all out of the way, you will discover that they are endless. They can eat up as much time as you devote to them.

Instead of trying to do all your chores at once, choose the ones that need to be done today. Let the rest slip into the background of your mind, so I can be in the forefront of your awareness. Remember that your ultimate goal is living close to Me, being responsive to My initiatives. I can communicate with you most readily when your mind is uncluttered and turned toward Me. Seek My Face continually throughout this day. Let My Presence bring order to your thoughts, infusing Peace into your entire being." (God Calling, Sarah Young)

"Now, as the world clamors for more toys and loud festivity, is the time for us to put first things first, and seek silence, if only for a few precious minutes a day. Now is the time when, ever more intently, we are to watch and listen for God." (Kathleen Norris, God With Us)

We are only a few days from Christmas. Many of us still have much to do, too much to do. I can easily get caught up in the doing and forget why I am doing any of it at all. A lot of the stuff we think needs to be accomplished no one else would miss. I am trying to let much go this year. How about you??

My soul waits for you LORD; you are my help and my shield. For my heart is glad in you, because I trust in your holy name. Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon me, even as I hope in you.

Psalm 33:20-22

Amen

Third Saturday of Advent

2011-12-17T08:43:00.003-05:00

Psalm 72:1-8; Genesis 49:2, 8-10; Matthew 1:1-17

Gifts don't always come wrapped looking like gifts.

A painful and lonely childhood becomes the means to offer comfort, understanding and acceptance to others.

A trial and hardship becomes the vehicle for much needed growth and change.

Living through an illness or tragedy provides opportunities to reach out and help others who are enduring a similar thing.

"Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words." ~Ranier Maria Rilke

The Messiah.

The Savior was expected.

But not the way he came.

Not the way he lived.

Not the way he died.

Not the way he saves.

Not the way he loves.

Look for unexpected gifts.

Father, give us eyes to see the good gifts you give us. Help us to look back and see your hand and work in our lives. For you are ever working for our good. You take the hard and painful things and use them for our greatest good. Thank you for your love, your grace, your sacrifice, and your continued working in our hearts and lives. May the truth of this cause us to be a more thankful people. Amen

Third Friday of Advent

2011-12-16T07:57:00.004-05:00

Psalm 67; Isaiah 56:1-8; John 5:33-36

"For all of recorded history there seem to have been people who didn't quite fit, (by society's view) either because of poverty, or disability, or nationality, or age - those so beaten down by abuse, or struggle, or scorn that they seem paralyzed, without the will to change or be changed. We have come to think of them as outsiders - the hopeless homeless, the alcoholics, the aged, the single mothers, the chronically ill or crippled, whole families dying of famine on parched continents, or decimated by genocide. Have we forgotten that Jesus himself, in his manner of birth, was also a misfit? (Luci Shaw, God With Us)

Jesus asks, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life.

Matthew 11:28 (msg)

Jesus continues to invite...Come to Me.

Forgive me, Jesus, for instinctively shunning those who don't quite fit my preconception of propriety or responsibility. As I gather with others at the stable - shepherds and sages - forgive me for being so absorbed in my own concerns that I ignore the deep needs of others. May your loving, restorative Spirit find a home in me. Show me, today, someone whom I can love and embrace in your name.

Amen

(Prayer by Luci Shaw, God With Us)

Sprout - second issue available now

2011-12-15T10:37:00.002-05:00

Amanda at Persistent Green just released her second issue of Sprout.

Go take a peek at what it's all about. Go on, you will be glad you did.

One of my paintings is included in the current issue.

Thanks Amanda!

Third Thursday of Advent

2011-12-15T06:47:00.003-05:00

Psalm 30; Isaiah 54:1-10; Luke 7:24-30

I have spent far too many years doing what I thought was important or doing what I wanted when I wanted. I was giving God a little part of my heart, afraid to give it to him fully. Thinking that if I did, I would have to do something I did not want to do, or not be able to do or have something I wanted. Or I might lose something I did not want to lose. Now in part that could be true, because what God thinks is my best may not be what I think is best. I don't like to wait. I don't like to be in want. Does anybody?

But little by little I am giving him more and more of my heart. I would like to say that it is all his. That I hold nothing back, but if I look deep into my heart past all the layers that are me, I know I have not yielded all of it.

Okay friends, this is last years posting for The Third Thursday of Advent. As I began to read this I thought, surely I will need to write something else. Surely I have progressed past this point in my relationship with God. Surely I can say I am "wholehearted" by now. I realized that though I may be a little further along on my journey (though there are days where I feel like I have gone right back to the beginning) I am still on a journey. And I am slow to give up my ways. But I see little glimpses of loosening. It takes time to release years of holding onto ones life...at least for me it does. But God is gracious, and patient, and loves me where I am. He loves you too...where you are.

For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, My love won't walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won't fall apart. The God who has compassion on you says so.

Isaiah 54:10

Father help us to believe you, in your love for us. Help us to trust you wholeheartedly. Help us to experience your love in a tangible way. You know our hearts better than we know them ourselves. Help us to see into the many layers of our hearts, to see what keeps us from offering them fully to you. Father will you plant and grow the desire for you in our hearts today and in the days leading up to Christmas and all the days after.

Immanuel - God with us - always

Third Wednesday of Advent

2011-12-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Psalm 85:8-13; Isaiah 45:5-25; Luke 7:19-23

"As well as speaking the universe into being, our Creator is the author of beauty, which we might think unnecessary for practical functioning. But his attention to colorful detail, his infinite variety of plant and bird and beast, are indications of grace, as well as additional confirmation that God is always with us.

The Lord has planted within each of us the aesthetic impulse that allows us to recognize and appreciate that beauty. Created in the image of a Creator, we are created to create. Who among us has not decorated a Christmas tree, or an Easter egg, or a living room? Who among us has not planted a garden, photographed a scenery, whistled, sung, danced? (or painted) I have been listening this afternoon to builders down our street. I hear the antiphon of two sets of hammers ringing their sharp songs as a new house is being erected on an empty lot, and I realize that such construction (rather than destruction) echoes the up-building, creative impulse of God in us. But even builders have to follow the blueprints if the house is to stand firm. God is our Architect, and we are the houses he is building, here in our own Nazareth. The season of Advent reminds us to acknowledge this.

Not only is God the only authority, the One we must acknowledge, to whom we will all bend the knee, he is the One who opens the door to salvation: "Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth, for I am God and there is no other." John the Baptizer and his disciples wondered of Jesus, "Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?" All Jesus had to tell them, quite simply, was that the blind were seeing, the lame walking, the lepers healed, deaf people could hear, the dead were alive again, and the poor encouraged with good news. Who else but the Promised One in our midst, the God With Us, was capable of such miracles? Later on, Peter had a similar answer to a similar question. He said: "Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life." (Luci Shaw)

Mighty One, as the God who is with us, quench all doubt within us. Reassert yourself to us, in all your creative power and glory. As we remember how your Son gave up that authority to be born and to walk with us on earth, may our love and loyalty rise up to you, strong and certain, to reassure you that we are indeed your creatures. More - we are your sons and daughters. Through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Amen

From Luci Shaw, God With Us

Third Tuesday of Advent

2011-12-13T18:16:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the delay in this, but we were in Kentucky moving Meg back...she is home!! Yea!! She has transferred to Reinhardt College in Georgia. She will be oh so much closer to home, and they have a wonderful art program.

Psalm 34:1-8; Zephaniah 3:1-2, 9-13; Matthew 21:28-32

"God as a Lover is passionate about his people. God as a Father cares, as a parent cares about the growth and character of a loved child, about their relationship to him." (Lucy Shaw, God with Us)

Have you tried hard to not do something you do? Have you tried hard to do something you know you should do without success? We can discipline ourselves, (which is good) we can work hard (which is good) but relying solely on our own strength, even our own willpower and good intentions is not enough. If the change does not happen at the heart level it is not permanent. Our actions may change our behavior for a time, but it does not change our hearts. Only God can change a heart.

Christ came to make that possible.

"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes."

2 Samuel 22:28, The Message

"You did the unthinkable.

You built one bridge to us

Long enough, strong enough

to link the unlinkable."

Lucy Shaw

"Merciful God, in this Advent season we thank you that you can rewrite the script of our lives, moving us from wandering to arrival, from self-hatred to acceptance, from distance to nearness, from loneliness to belonging, from weakness to energy, and all this because of the enfleshment of your dear Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus, who became one of us and showed us the way. (Luci Shaw, God with Us)

Amen

Third Monday of Advent

2011-12-12T08:42:00.000-05:00

Psalm 25:3-8; Numbers 24:1-17; Matthew 21:23-27

Jesus

Second person of the Trinity

Jesus

God

Jesus

Incarnation

God becoming as small as we are

Why?

For Us

"The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a mighty savior, he will rejoice over you with gladness, and renew you in his love; he will sing joyfully because of you, as one sings at festivals.

Zephaniah 3:17

"He will rejoice over you with gladness. On the day of new beginnings God rejoices over his people, renewing us by his love. A remarkable concept to meditate on is that believers, children of God, can bring delight to the heart of God; that our lives can bring pleasure (as well as pain) to the God who created us, who loves us, and who in his mercy and commitment to us brings us back into right relationship with himself."

(taken from The Life with God Bible, New Revised Standard Version)

Why?

To bring us back into relationship with himself.

Henri Nouwen says, "The one who created us is waiting for our response to the love that gave us our being. God not only says, "You are my beloved". God also asks" "Do you love me?" and offers us countless chances to say "Yes."

LORD, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Third Sunday of Advent

2011-12-11T13:46:00.001-05:00

Isaiah 35:1-6; Psalm 145:16, 19; Psalm 130:5

Waiting

"Anticipation lifts the heart. Desire is created to be fulfilled - perhaps not all at once, more likely in slow stages." (Luci Shaw)

Are you waiting for something?

Have you been waiting for a long time?

"It's the waiting that's hard, the in-between of divine promise and its fulfillment, like a leap across a ditch after take-off and before landing. Most of us find ourselves dangling in this hiatus, which in the interval may seem a waste of time. We drum our fingers on the steering wheel as we wait for the light to change. We wait, gnawing with anxiety, for the telephone call that tells us we got the job. For politicians' promises to be fulfilled. For our health to improve. For our headstrong children to grow up. For Jesus to come and resolve the world's confusion and pain. (Luci Shaw)

"Waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminished a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy."

(Romans 8:24-26 The Message)

"With such motivation, we can wait as we sense God is indeed with us, and at work within us...Though the protracted waiting time is often the place of distress, even disillusionment, we are counseled in the book of James to "let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete." Pain, grief, consternation, even despair, need not diminish us. They can augment us by adding to the breadth and depth of our experience, by enriching our spectrum of light and darkness, by keeping us from impulsively jumping into action before the time is ripe, before "the fullness of time." I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope." (Luci Shaw)

"Oh my Lord, keep me from frustration and impatience when I see little evidence of your living and growing in me. Reassure me that waiting time is not wasted time. That your purposes for us all are large and all-embracing enough to hold firm and prevail, no matter the obstacles or distractions. You have told us that "now is the accepted time...now is the day of salvation." But perhaps your "now" is different from ours. You see our lives from the infinite perspective of eternity, of kairos. We want immediate action, change, growth in chronos, in "real time." We want to see our problems being resolved, Now.

Help us to realize, as those who love and believe in you, that we, too, are pregnant with Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit, and that day by day we are being enlarged. Augment our hope, widen our imagination, and nourish our anticipation that the astounding fact of "Christ in you, the hope of glory" will turn true in us in your good time. (Luci Shaw, God With Us)

Amen

Fun

2011-12-10T11:25:00.000-05:00

yes, i am still taking a blog break, but i can now show you these and brag a little bit on my daughter.

a dear friend of mine saw a pair of converse shoes meg had painted for me.

she wanted meg to paint several for her to give as gifts - meg painted these over the summer and i so wanted to show you but had to wait till they were given.

aren't these marvelous!!!!

today's advent reading is just below.

Second Saturday of Advent

2011-12-10T09:09:00.001-05:00

Psalm 80:1-18; Matthew 17:9-13

Repentance - that turn of heart and mind.

Turning from what?

Turning toward what or better yet, who?

Turning from our way of doing life, of striving, of trying to get our needs and desires met.

Of expecting others to fill the void in our hearts.

Of expecting others to meet our needs and desires.

Every other thing, every other person we turn to other than God will eventually let us down.

Turning from I know what's best for me.

The truth is we don't really know what is best for us. We may think we are choosing wisely, but we do not have the big picture.

If you believed there was a person who knew your heart down to it's deepest dark corners, it's deepest darkest secrets and still looked on you with love and compassion and acceptance.

If you believed there was a person who wanted to restore and heal the broken places.

If you believed there was a person who desired to give you the desires of your heart (some you don't even know you have yet).

If this person knew what you were made for, your purpose for being.

If you believed this person was good, and only wanted your best, always.

Would you choose to turn to this person???

If you do not believe, would you like to believe it to be true??

Are you willing to be open to the possibility of it being true?

He is not holding out on us - He is willing to show us if we just ask.

He does not come where He is not welcome.

What better time to ask these questions, than the time we celebrate his birth.

O Holy One Who Comes, we turn again to you, and we open our hearts, we open our minds, we open our entire beings to your approach. We ask for strength and wisdom that we may now prepare the way. We ask that all may receive you in joy. Now and forever.

Amen

(Prayer, Scott Cairns, God with Us)

Second Friday of Advent

2011-12-09T07:10:00.003-05:00

Psalm 1; Isaiah 48:17-19; Matthew 11:16-19

"If you had listened....."

When I don't follow God's leading I miss the fullness of what was given. Why do I find it so hard to follow God's ways? Why do I struggle with the same sins over and over?

Do you ever ask these questions?

I had a light bulb moment several years ago. Though it changed the way I think and approach my relationship with God, and in doing so it has freed me ever so much, I still struggle in the growing process..

"Willpower, determination and discipline are not enough in Christ-following. The close interconnection of will and desire means that if Christ is to have our will, he must first have my heart. Learning to desire God's will is not something we can accomplish by resolve and willpower. It occurs only when we live so close to God's heart that the rhythm of our own heartbeat comes to reflect the divine pulse."

"Surrendering to God's will makes little sense if we are not first convinced of the depths of God's love for us. But surrender is far from complete and we have yet to unwrap the gift of our true-self-in-Christ until we are fully convinced of the absolute trustworthiness of God's will. Learning to prefer God's way to ours and discovering our identity and fulfillment in God's kingdom way demands that we know Love, deeply and personally. Only then will it be possible to choose God with the totality of our being, not just our will. The problem is that when we approach the task of choosing anything other than our own self and its immediate gratification, most of us automatically turn to willpower and resolve. Choosing God then becomes more a matter of grim determination than joyful surrender - closer to deciding to cut back on eating enjoyable foods than to follow our heart to the Source of abundant life." (words in quotations are from David Benner, Desiring God's Will)

Do I really believe God is good? That he has my best at heart? That his way is best? Do you?

Or do I sometimes believe as Eve did that God is holding out on me, keeping something good from me? Do I trust him enough to surrender my way for his and to follow his path? More than I did last year, but there is still a journey ahead of me. As I come to know him more deeply it is easier to trust.

"I am God, your God who teaches you how to live right and well. I show you what to do, where to go." (Isaiah 48:17)

LORD, you offer to lead us, to show us what to do and where to go. And it is a good way. As we draw near to you this season may our hearts be changed. May we grow in our trust of you and may we know your leading is good and trustworthy. You who gave everything to make the restoration and healing of our hearts possible, thank you. Thank you for the gift you so freely offer. Thank you for totally accepting us where we are. Thank you for continuing to draw us. Thank you for your leading and guidance.

Amen

Second Thursday of Advent

2011-12-08T08:13:00.002-05:00

Psalm 145:1-13; Isaiah 41:13-20; Matthew 11:7-15

It is good to humbly realize that we are all of us poor, needy and parched with thirst. Some of us are experiencing the reality of these in a very real physical way. These are hard times for many of us. But even those who have an abundance of material blessings experience the ache of "Is this all there is?" It might take them longer to realize it because they are numb to the ache. The ache can be masked for a very long time with things.

From the outside in, my life looked perfect, but in the quiet of my heart I knew not all was as it should be.

If we take a close enough look, we can see that things, people, or whatever we choose to chase the ache away does not do it completely. You see, we are created for a different kind of world and a different kind of life. We are created to have fellowship, a relationship with our creator and with each other. The world is not now as it should be. As good as it can be, (and it can be really good at times) it is not as good as it was meant to be.

There is a scripture that God keeps bringing back to my heart again and again.

"My people are broken - shattered! And they put on band-aids, saying, "it's not so bad, you'll be just fine." But things are not just fine!

Jeremiah 6:24, the Message

Christ is the life-giving water we so desperately need for the parched and dry deserts of our hearts and souls.

The kind of life we are made for.

Father open our eyes and our hearts to our poverty. Help us to stop filling the ache to ease the pain which prevents us from asking the question, "Is this all there is?" Help us to stop and look at what we do to mask the ache. Help us to turn to you to receive the thirst quenching water that only you can give.

Amen

Second Wednesday of Advent

2011-12-07T08:21:00.002-05:00

Psalm 103:1-10; Isaiah 40:25-31; Matthew 11:28-30

O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I'll bless his holy name! O my soul, bless God, don't forget a single blessing! (Psalm 103:1,2 MSG)

In the margin of my Bible I have written, "remember what God has done in my life, do not lose track of my stories."

Sometimes our blessings do not come wrapped looking as such. I have a friend that has had to move several times in the last few years. One of the recent moves certainly did not look like a blessing at the time. Later, she found out that during a heavy rain storm the house flooded. Had they still been living there they would have lost most of their belongings.

Taking the time to look back at God's faithfulness in our lives, helps us to know in the midst of the hard times, (though things may not look so) we have a God who is on our side, who has our best in mind - always!

Papa, thank you for your faithfulness! Thank you for your loving kindness. Thank you for the many blessings you have given to us, so many I believe we are not even aware of - yet. As we make preparations to celebrate Christmas, your birthday, may we take time to look back at your hand in our lives - and give you praise.

Amen

Second Tuesday of Advent

2011-12-06T08:30:00.004-05:00

Psalm 50:7-15; Amos 5:18-24; Matthew 18:12-14

Sometimes I think we are too busy doing for God, rather than just being with God. Even when we are doing good things. We can then loose the intimacy and the joy in the frenzy and the rush of life. God wants our obedience and our good works for sure, but most of all he wants us. He wants our hearts. And as we spend time sitting at his feet, our hearts are changed, we are changed.

Lord, during this busy season of shopping, parties, family gatherings and celebrations, may we make room for you in our schedules and in our hearts. May we take the time to just be with you.

Amen.

If you followed along with me during Advent last year these Advent posts will be familiar. I know for me, I need to be reminded again and again to narrow my focus in all areas of my life. I also know that I can read the same scripture a second, third, fourth....time and it never touches my heart in quite the same way.

and if you have some time I am encouraging you to go here and listen to the message "Finding Joy: Younger Brother". You will be blessed.

Grace and peace to you all.

Second Monday of Advent

2011-12-05T08:34:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 35:1-10; Luke 5:17-26

Because of God's tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.

Luke 1:78-79

Light

Living Water

Restorer

Healer

Peacemaker

"Forever Fresh and Refreshing Source, Living Water, Bright Garment of Dew, descend now and always in one endless, life-bestowing flow. Bring to us those waters that forever quench our thirst. Bring those waters, we pray, to the deserts of our hearts, that from their parched soil, life may spring anew. And more that this, enable that life-giving flow to pour from ourselves to enliven all around us. In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit," (Scott Cairns - God With Us)

Amen

First Saturday of Advent

2011-12-03T09:07:00.000-05:00

This Christmas ornament and two previous ones (the stocking and baby carriage)

are my children's first ornaments. They are 32, 30, and 20.

Too many of those years Jesus got lost in the busyness, the hustle and the bustle,
the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, all the "preparations".

Christmas is a birthday we celebrate.

Advent is a time of preparing. A different kind of preparing.

A time to prepare our hearts for the most amazing gift ever given to us.

Don't let Jesus, the one we celebrate get lost in that "preparation".

Advent Reading

Psalm 147: 1-12, Isaiah 30: 19-21, 23-26; Matthew 9:35; 10: 1, 5-8

"God who is the fullness of Being infiltrated our world of beings in order that we might fully be. Christmas is about the incarnation, and incarnation is God's becoming what he is not, in order that we might become what he is." (Richard John Neuhaus, God with Us)

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Psalm 147:3

We are all brokenhearted, not just in the sense of a mournful heart, but in a heart that has been wounded, by our sin, by the sins of others, by living in a broken world. A world that is now not as it should be, as it was created to be. God entered our world to make possible the healing, the restoration we so need and long for.

Augustine said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee"

Father, open our eyes and hearts to your amazing love, to your amazing grace, that would cause you to go to such great lengths to bring us back to you. May these truths become more real for us this Christmas. May we take the time to slow our busy pace and let our restless hearts rest in you, the healer, and restorer of our hearts and souls. May we not forget why we celebrate CHRISTmas.

Amen

Let it be.

First Friday of Advent

2011-12-02T08:15:00.002-05:00

Isaiah 29: 17-24; Matthew 9: 27-31

I walk through far too many of my days "blind" to the presence of God. Going about my daily tasks, checking off my list, getting to the next thing that has to be accomplished.

Where is the Life we have lost in living?

-T. S. Eliot

God offers life. Real life.

The incarnation is God reaching out across the chasm caused by our sin and starting the relationship all over again. (D. Benner, Surrender to Love)

Incarnation, in-flesh-ment, God in human form in Jesus entering our history: this is what started Christmas. This is what keep Christmas going. (Eugene Peterson)

When I take the time to think on what Jesus actually did for us, for me I can hardly take it all in.

I want to be present for life's moments, even the mundane everyday stuff.

I believe that is possible. I am not saying that once you "believe" everything will be rosy. In fact, in my experience things can get harder. When our eyes are opened we see things in our hearts we did not see before. And that can be oh so messy and painful. But oh to be fully alive.....

I want my eyes wide open to see God in the moments that make up my life.

Open, we pray you, heavenly Father, our eyes to see and our ears to hear your Word, who is Jesus Christ, true God and true man. As you sent your Spirit upon Mary, so send your Spirit upon us. Embrace us and hold us close within the Trinity of your love, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Thus may we, according to your gift of faith, trust the fulfillment of all your promises.

Amen

Let it be.

(prayer by Richard John Neuhaus, God With Us)

First Thursday of Advent

2011-12-01T07:32:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 26:1-6; Matthew 6:25-33; 7:21, 24-27

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life."

Is this really possible?

"There is unbelieving anxiety, and then there is anxiety encountered by faith. John Henry Newman said of Christian faith, "Ten thousand difficulties do not add up to doubt." We may have great difficulties in understanding how God will keep his promises, but we do not doubt that he will keep his promises.

To be anxious is human. The question is what we do with our anxieties. The decision is between hanging on to them or handing them over. After listening to the angel, Mary handed over herself, including her anxieties. "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." That is Mary's great fiat - "Let it be." It is not fatalism, but faith. Fatalism is resigning ourselves to the inevitable; faith is entrusting ourselves to the One who is eternally trustworthy, who is worthy of trust.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before he died, Jesus prayed: "Not my will but yours be done." He is not resigned to the Father's will, he embraces the Father's will. Accepting God's way is not a fall-back position for when we can't get our way.

"Let it be to me according to your word." Faith is not blind faith, but trust with eyes wide open. Faith does not deny the reason for anxiety but rejects the rule of anxiety.

In the "Our Father," Jesus teaches us to pray, "your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Slowly, and not without difficulty, we learn to prefer God's will to our own; we learn to want God's will to be done, knowing that he knows us and loves us immeasurable better than we know and love ourselves.

Forgive us, Heavenly Father, for living as though you do not know and do not care, as thought you are not our loving Father. As you did with Mary, who first received the good news of "Emmanuel, God with us," and handed over her troubled heart to you, so also give us such faith that the constant theme of our lives may be, "Lord, let it be to me according to your word." This we trustingly ask in the name of Jesus Christ, her Lord and ours.

Amen.

Let it be.

from "God with Us"

First Wednesday Advent Reading

2011-11-30T08:34:00.000-05:00

Advent Reading

Isaiah 25:6-10a; Matthew 15:29-37

"With this we are brought to the central mystery of Christmas - not a mystery that is like a puzzle to be solved, but a mystery that is a deep truth to be endlessly explored. "With God all things are possible," Jesus said. And the deepest of deep truths about Christmas - without which Christmas is just a lovely social custom - is that Mary's baby is God. He is God incarnate, which means God became one of us, which means he is true God and true man. The challenge to faith is not that he fed so many with so little, or the other astonishing things reported. The challenge to faith is that he is "Emmanuel, God with us." If that is true, with him all things are possible."

Awaken, O Lord Jesus,

our hearts and minds to your presence in the world of your love's creating.

Forbid that we should stumble through this day oblivious to the wonder in the ordinary.

With your grace, startle us into faith's perception of your continuing creation in our lives.

Amen.

Let it be.

taken from God With Us: Rediscovering the Meaning of Christmas

First Tuesday Advent Reading

2011-11-29T09:16:00.000-05:00

Advent Reading

Isaiah 11:1-10; Luke 10:21-24

Jesus said:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

Peace is not only possible; it is the gift already given. Christ gives us his peace by giving us himself, for he is the Prince of Peace...The peace that is ours is not a peace of pretending that things are not as they are; nor is it a peace of being blind to conflict. It is the peace of faith. Faith is trust in the Prince of Peace. We neither hold ourselves aloof from the anguish of a conflicted world nor delude ourselves that the resolution of all conflicts is within our power. In the child of Bethlehem, in the powerlessness of a baby, God entered into our conflicts.

Heavenly Father, look out for your children who are imperiled by war around us and war within us. Prepare us to welcome the Prince of Peace in his birth at Bethlehem so that in a violent world he may make us instruments of the peace that he gives.

Amen.

Let it be.

Taken from "God with Us"

If you wish to read Monday's post from last year here is a link.

Advent

2011-11-28T10:07:00.003-05:00

To the Wonder and Mystery

Advent

The season of Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas.

It is a season set aside to prepare for the mystery we are about to celebrate at Christmas: the arrival of God with us, God incarnate.

Birth

Wonder

Astonishment

Adoration

"Every year Christmas comes around again and forces us to deal with God in the context of demanding and inconvenient children; gatherings of family members, many of whom we spend the rest of the year avoiding; all the crasser forms of greed and commercialized materiality; garish lights and decorations. Or maybe the other way around: Christmas forces us to deal with all the mess of our humanity in the context of God who has already entered that mess in the glorious birth of Jesus."

(Eugene Peterson, God With Us)

Birth

Wonder

Astonishment

Adoration

I am choosing the latter. I am choosing to dwell on the wonder. To be astonished again. To dwell in the mystery. And to adore. I am choosing to focus on the God who chose to enter my mess. I may not do it perfectly, but that is where I want to be.

This is the irrational season

When love blooms bright and wild.

Had Mary been filled with reason

There'd have been no room for the child.

(Madeline L'Engle)

Lord Jesus, Master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit
upon our preparations for Christmas.

We who have so much to do, seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.

We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us.

We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom.

We whose hearts are heavy, seek the joy of your presence.

We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking light.

To you we say, Come Lord Jesus...

Amen.
(Advent Prayer - Henri Nouwen)

I am re-posting last year's Advent readings. I am going to take a break this Christmas Season, close my studio so to speak, to take extended time to contemplate what this season really means to draw near to Jesus.

I pray you experience God in new exciting ways during this time of waiting...

Thanksgiving Day

2011-11-24T21:08:00.004-05:00

getting ready for family to arrive

Meg cutting sweet potatoes for fries
she turned 20 today, how can my baby be 20...

we fried a turkey, so since we had the oil we thought we would

make some sweet potato fries. they came out great.

Meg and Jack

the boys

Molly girl

Jack the cat

we had a beautiful cool, crisp day for gathering

so many, many things to be thankful for...

hope you all had a wonderful day.

grace and peace

Abiding Monday

2011-11-21T10:05:00.008-05:00

I apologize for the length of this, but as I was reading "Allure of Hope" for the second time through I felt the pull to post this. This wonderful book written by Jan Meyers is a must read for all women.

We put such a burden on ourselves in trying to live the life we think we are called to live. In doing so I think we miss "real life" in the process.

From Allure of Hope:

You may not know this, but Christianity isn't meant to make you into an efficient, moral woman. Are we meant to change as Christ stuns us with His forgiveness? Absolutely. But the transformation that comes, impacting who we are as women, does so naturally as an afterthought of God's love for us, surprising us as it shows up. Our femininity, our artistry, is transformed - perhaps released is a better word - as our hearts are captured by the goodness of God in the midst of our hard-heartedness. If we attempt to be more feminine - if we strive to make "being a godly, feminine woman" our goal - we end up having the feel of a Barbie doll at a dance. Others around us are fluid and laughing. We are stiff and uninviting."

Recently a group of high-profile Christian women met locally. They were called together by one who is well know for her influential teachings on womanhood. Graciously, she wanted to get a sense of where women's needs were, where the direction of her work should head in order to address those needs. My friend Leigh attended this meeting along with about twenty others. Each woman had a chance to say what she thought was important. Leigh heard them say things like "Women are not disciplined enough. We try so hard to motivate them, but they don't have the skills to structure their lives to benefit from it." Another said, "We need to find a way to convince women they have something to give." Leigh patiently waited as woman after woman spoke of commitment and obligation, cheerleading women into enthusiasm.

Leigh began to deflate. She was becoming disturbed; something grievous was going on here. Then she realized that there was no lack in what was being said. She realized she was hearing everyone speak of being well on their way and needing to find a way to assist those who aren't. Leigh thought, I was a spiritual orphan who found a home in the heart of an older woman who loved me. That's where the love of Christ took root. I come here today with a great need. We all have great need, and we need to meet each other in the heart in order for God's love to take root.

When all had spoken their peace, one woman realized they hadn't heard from Leigh. "Leigh", she asked, "would you like to add something?"

"Yes," Leigh said with misty eyes. "Isn't all of this missing the point? I tried for years to be a dutiful, sacrificial Christian woman, and I always ended up feeling like all the activity was missing the point. I've realized in the last few years that our relationship with God is all about Him finding our hearts, and women are experts at keeping their hearts locked away. How can we know the joy of forgiveness if we don't see how hard our hearts are? How can we respond passionately to pleas for more involvement if our hearts aren't in it? I think we do an incredible disservice to women by adding to their burden rather than meeting them where their hearts are, in what they are thirsty for. Do we want to create women who are more active, or do we want to multiply women who are desperately thirsty for the heart of God?"

The room was silent, the other women remembering their hearts for a moment. It was clear where the beauty was in the room.

It's so very easy to forget our hearts, have you forgotten your heart?

As we head into this season of celebration may we slow down, may we refrain from entering the frenzied pace that has become "normal" this time of year.

When we slow down we realize just how very thirsty we are.

...If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. (John 7:37, 38)

...but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. (John 4:14)

Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters... (Isaiah 55:1)

Grace and peace

you gotta...

2011-11-14T10:42:00.005-05:00

not bragging or anything, well maybe a little...no a lot...but you gotta click this link and see these new photos taken of my two precious grandsons!!

you gotta, you gotta, you gotta!!!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.276471682397037.70478.105050629539144&type=1

sweet memories

2011-11-10T08:44:00.001-05:00

caylee ott. a sweet, precious, extremely talented young woman took several photos of meg and i at the little red barn sale.

you know, i do like seeing myself in pictures. or mirrors if i am honest. i have gained so much weight over the past several years and i am unhappy with it. i know, i know, do something about it. it's not that easy!! you have to be there mentally too...i think i am getting there. you have to want to loose the weight more than you want that cookie, or and extra helping of whatever...and until you do it won't work, at least for me.

but in the meantime i have decided to not shy away from the camera. i would miss too many opportunities to create memories like the photos above. oh how i would have missed having these photos with my precious daughter. she does not like to have her picture taken either - wonder where she got that...

and i know so well that who we are, who we really are is not our size...but still...you all know what i am saying.

second day

2011-11-07T22:36:00.000-05:00

This large painting sold

as did Meg's big bird painting and a few more...

Trish Land was looking around old Norcross when she and her friends drove by The Little Red Barn Sale. She owns a boutique in Decatur, Alabama. She stopped in and wanted to purchase several items from several of the artists to take back to her store. She purchased four original paintings from Meg and I, as well as several framed prints and cards.

It was hard letting that big heart painting go...it is one of my favorites.

I want to thank Trish and her friends for stopping by, and for such positive interest and appreciation for our work.

I am recovering today...came home with vertigo. This happened to me last year around this time of year. Thankfully I had some of the medications left and they have helped. What a bummer of a way to end a fabulous weekend.

Carrie, if you are reading this I think it falls into the category of the letters I purchased from you...lol

Much love to all of you...and thanks for all the good wishes and prayers for a successful weekend.

guess who i got to meet?

2011-11-05T20:04:00.001-04:00

boy was it cold when we left the house today to head out to the little red barn sale...34 degrees.

it did warm up to around 60, but it was quite windy and chilly for most of the day.

and guess who i got to meet?

Jane Royal of Painted Heart Studio

i love meeting blogging buddy's! especially ones as special as Jane

and Meg was there. she called thursday and said she was coming home for the weekend

she is standing next to some of her beautiful work.

we will be back for day two tomorrow.

life collage

2011-11-03T14:22:00.001-04:00

Teri Morse at Comfort Cottage posted her "life collage" a few weeks ago. I asked her if I could copy it and use it as an example in my workshops. She graciously said yes.

I gave the ladies instructions last week so they could gather materials to do the collage this week.

Oh my gosh, I love this! I completed mine today. Mine covers the last several years and the journey I have been on. I used images that I have previously used and well as journal pages. I then flipped through several magazines and cut out words that spoke to me. I loved the process and the outcome. Every time I look at it I see something more.

Teri thank you for letting me share this wonderful idea. It has been an amazing exercise to do.

respite

2011-11-01T08:39:00.002-04:00

this was the view from our room at snowbird mountain lodge

it's an annual trip greg and i take

it was much needed this year

now to finish getting ready for the little red barn sale this weekend in norcross

if you are local, please stop by

Little Red Barn Sale

2011-10-25T14:34:00.002-04:00

I am so excited to be participating in the second annual Little Red Barn Sale.

One of my good friends Alice VanderVeen had a dream. A dream to take her incredible talent for taking something worn and sad looking and transforming it into something useful and beautiful. Pop on over to The Little Red Barn blog for dates, times and to meet the artists.

more retreat photos

2011-10-24T08:09:00.002-04:00

2011-10-21T14:12:00.006-04:00

my daughter Meg is participating in a student blogging contest and has a chance to win an Amazon Kindle.

you can help her by taking a moment to visit her blog, and clicking on the button at the beginning or at the end of her "Pinterest Obsession" post.

the deadline is November 18th.

thanks so much for your help.

retreat

2011-10-14T15:04:00.003-04:00

What an amazing time the retreat was. God provided, met us, loved us, through this most precious weekend.

Trader Joe's supplied flowers for our tables. Norma and Jan lovingly filled jars for each table.

Donna prepared wonderful gift bags for each lady...that of course included chocolate and tissues.

Beautiful Donna finishing up last minute stuff.

Our meeting room, with crayons on tables for coloring Friday night.

Precious, precious Tina, who prepared the facilities and cooked our fabulous meals. She will say it was all God, and yes he provided, but used her hands, feet, and heart.

Lizzy...

more fabulous women

and more

and more, 47 in all...

visual journaling supplies

we came away refreshed, met, loved, and with deeper community among each other.

Thank you Jesus!!!

Thank you all for praying.

Grace and Peace

retreat time

2011-10-06T09:44:00.004-04:00

he is setting us free...

Since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we can now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us - they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Roman 5:1-5)

"It can be worth it. We can be shaped by the winds of trial with a confidence that we will give shelter and life along the way. But as C. S. Lewis said, "Probably this will not, for most of us, happen in a day; poetry replaces grammar, gospel replaces law, longing transforms obedience, as gradually as the tide lifts a grounded ship" (excerpt from Allure of Hope)

We can become tender or hard in this perseverance. Don't we as women desire to be tender, to be a shelter for others. It's there even if we have buried it along with so many other desires. Sometimes it's buried under layers hard as steel that were created for protection. I choose to stay tender, Lord help me stay tender, to be a safe place when the cracks begin to appear in masks long worn.

Friends, tomorrow begins my church's Visual Journaling Retreat.

We are driving just a short 2 hours north to a beautiful, peaceful place.

Will you pray for us?

Pray for hearts to be open, that there will be sweet times of fellowship with each other and rich times with God.

That the women will come away refreshed knowing their hearts were met by God.

That this may be the beginning or continuation of healing where needed.

Where eyes and hearts are open to areas that need addressing.

Where forgiveness may need to be offered.

Where areas of strongholds may be weakened and broken.

Grace, peace, and love to you my friends!

something a little different for me

2011-10-01T17:44:00.001-04:00

since visual journaling is such a big part of my life i decided to take one of my pages i liked and do it on a small canvas.

i am very pleased with the finished piece.

this one measures 14 x 14. i am thinking about doing more of these and listing them on my etsy site.

i also think this would make a pretty card.

here is the original journal page

WIP or something like that...

2011-09-26T14:16:00.001-04:00

i am struggling.

sometimes painting is downright painful.

could it be that i feel like crap physically?

threw my back out last Monday...it's on the mend.

yes, that could be part of it, but sometimes painting is just that, a struggle.

feeling inadequate, unskilled, insecure...the list could go on. there have been moments thoughts like, "just give it up" have crept into my mind.

but then i hear, Mar just paint what you know, play, explore, don't worry about all that you don't know or what you can't do yet....

YET...because the more i paint, the more i play, the more i explore, i learn.

so i continue the journey...knowing at times there will be struggle and unease...that's okay.

and sometimes it's more...

We are reaching for the future, we are reaching for the past

And no matter what we have we reach for more.

We are desperate to discover what is just beyond our grasp

Maybe that's what heaven is for.

Still it seems a tragic fate, living with the quiet ache,

the constant strain

for what remains just out of reach.

So when we taste the Divine, it leaves us thirsty every time

for one more taste of what awaits when heaven's gates are reached.

song lyrics "Reaching" by Carolyn Arends

more journal pages

2011-09-17T07:38:00.003-04:00

these are some of my favorite journal pages ever.

i'm not even sure i can explain why i like them so much.

they were done in a much quicker fashion, a little more haphazardly then normal.

maybe with a little more freedom.

last nights workshop

2011-09-16T15:54:00.000-04:00

photos from last nights workshop at out of the box studio in roswell. sorry they are a bit blurry...i did not use a flash...don't know what i was thinking. most of the women chose to do their work on a canvas panel. as usual, it was so much fun to see the variety that comes from a group doing this.

see my huge journal page on canvas in the background...and don't my cards look great on that rack...

love the checkerboard floor and the colorful chairs

and i got to meet a blogging buddy. Laurel over at Happiness is... what a sweet woman. i love meeting blogging buddies!!

hope you all have a wonderful weekend. most welcomed cool temperatures here.

more journal playing

2011-09-15T08:16:00.001-04:00

here are a few pages done with Derwent Inktense Blocks. the first two spreads i was just getting the feel of how they worked and i wanted to see how much color i could get out of them. as you can see it is quite bright and brilliant.

there is a bit of texture on a few of them. i used gesso on the pages first (my pages are very thin in this journal) and when the pages were still wet i smooshed them together.

i blended and played with the blocks a bit more on the last three. i also used some gesso over them here and there.

got the news back on my pooch. she is okay!!! turns out it was a hematoma after all. now i am extremely thankful, but i am a little ticked that the vet could not distinguish between a hematoma and a tumor...put her through an unnecessary surgery and cost us a small boat load of money...i'm just sayin...

resting

2011-09-13T10:32:00.001-04:00

thanks for the well wishes and prayers.

saturday's workshop was wonderful. several new ladies attended.

i am continually amazed at how God uses this visual journaling thing.

i am feeling a bit better. i have been taking it easy and just playing in my journal.

these were created with cheap craft paint, and some collage.

i have been playing with Derwent Inktense Blocks. boy are they great to use. you can get some amazing intense color with these and they are permanent when dry. i'll show you some later this week.

i still have not heard from our vet yet...

feels like ages

2011-09-08T11:07:00.000-04:00

it feels like i have not posted in ages...while it's only been a week or so

it seems like life has just crowded in on me, things and events coming from all directions

i have been working on lessons, and journal prompts for my upcoming workshops

prompts that will take women deeper into their hearts

prompts that are meant to open eyes and hearts, and awaken desires long forgotten

i wonder...there are forces set against that happening...

my sweet doggie i told you all about a few posts back may have cancer. what they thought was a hematoma they now think is a tumor - we will know next week

there have been major health issues in extended family members and friends

and i have a crappy cold!!

please pray that i will be well on Saturday. that the workshop and prompts help open closed places in women's hearts.

grace and peace

journal spread

2011-09-01T15:06:00.000-04:00

This is a journal that I carry with me. It houses my calendar, my to do lists, ideas for my workshops and the stuff of life. I have painted several backgrounds so they are ready when i feel the pull to journal. I completed this spread while in Florida a few weeks ago.

the stuff of life

2011-08-30T10:03:00.004-04:00

Life is full of so many twists and turns. I am learning to leave space in my life for the unexpected. Good and bad. Making sure I sprinkle in beauty along the way.

Last Friday we drove Meg back to college. It was bittersweet. I hated seeing her leave, but I loved seeing her excitement at seeing friends, and beginning a new year of college.

This is a time that's just for her

learning to spread her wings

learning what she loves

discovering her passion

Oh I pray she discovers it, and does not loose it with the living of life.

We came home to an injured dog. My son left for work Saturday and left her on the front porch (we have an invisible fence). The vet said it looks like she got her tail caught in something. The poor baby keeps running into things. She seems to be doing better today...at least the whining has stopped.

Poor pitiful thing...they had to shave her beautiful fluffy tail

we are hoping the hematoma goes down on it's own...or they will have to put in a drain

thought I would throw in a few colorful photos after that

Spending today cleaning my studio, getting things organized for the upcoming workshops. Seems like I am getting close to being finished and then I remember something else I need to do.

Hope you all are having a good week. Do the thing you need to do, but don't forget to take time to be. We miss too much in the frenzy of life.

Grace and peace

love this daughter of mine...and her new hair cut!

2011-08-23T22:16:00.001-04:00

it went too fast

2011-08-22T09:22:00.003-04:00

a beautiful full moon our first evening at the beach

first of many sunrises

another beautiful moon rise

"I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,

your handmade sky-jewelry,

Moon and stars mounted in their settings..."

Psalm 8: 3 (msg)

i was up for all the sunrises, just could not miss them

i forgot how much i liked the ocean

God painting the morning sky

the little beach cottage where we stayed

view from our porch

i love this photo of meg

one of the highlights of my trip was a short drive into Jacksonville to meet Martha Lever and Lori Vliegen. what fun to get to meet and chat with two of my sweet blogging buddies. thank you, Martha and Lori, for driving part of the way, it was such a lovely treat for me.

beach time

2011-08-12T11:40:00.001-04:00

I want to thank you all for praying for little Caden. You can keep track of his progress on Becca's blog. There is a new update today. Please keep praying.

Greg, Meg and I are heading to the beach tomorrow for a full week. It's been too long since we have done so. We do not have internet where we are going, which is a mixed blessing I think. It will do me good to unplug for awhile...but I will sure miss keeping up with you all.

Grace, peace, and love to you all.

asking for prayer

2011-08-10T09:27:00.000-04:00

Please take some time and visit The Stanly Clan blog Their second child, Caden was born last week with severe heart problems. He had open heart surgery on Monday. He is still in critical condition. Please join me in prayer for this precious child and his family.

Grace and peace

talented daughter

2011-08-07T14:01:00.001-04:00

This was painted by my beautiful talented daughter. I am blown away by her raw talent. She is going into her second year of college, and has declared "art" as her major. I cannot wait to see the body of work that comes from her. She has painted a few other wonderful paintings while home for the summer. I'll post them later. She goes back in a few weeks.. I will miss her terribly.

In a few short weeks I will begin teaching a visual journaling class at a local art studio, and visual journaling workshops at my church will resume next month. Also, next month our church is also having a woman's retreat where we will be using visual journaling to process our time with God. Will you pray with me for the women that will be attending the workshops and retreat? Specifically for open minds and hearts to the process. That God will meet them where they are, and that they will have ears to hear. Me included.

Grace and peace

Desire

2011-08-04T14:08:00.009-04:00

I have been playing with some new products I purchased for my workshops. I have used Adirondack Color Wash before (have just order some of the new and improved ones) but have never used Glimmer Mist. I like the way the Glimmer Mist sprays, it seems to come out a bit easier than the old Adirondack Color Wash. I think the new and improved version of ACW is supposed to have a finer spray than the old. I"ll let you all know when it arrives and have played with it a bit.

I am reading "The Journey of Desire" by John Eldredge again. I began this book a few years ago, but don't think I ever finished it. I am really bad about beginning another book in the process of reading one and not getting the first one finished. And it's not like I got bored with the first or did not like it...I just got distracted as I do with a lot of things in life.

This life we live has some incredible moments of deep satisfaction. But there are also moments of deep dis-contentment. I used to ignore those feelings, saying to myself that I really am asking for too much. I should be happy as life is...I have so much...but the nagging feeling that there is more stays.

"There is a desire within each of us, in the deep center of ourselves that we call our heart. We were born with it, it is never completely satisfied, and it never dies. We are often unaware of it, but it is always awake...Our true identify, our reason for being, is to be found in this desire."

The Awakened Heart, by Gerald May

Yet hints come to me from the realm unknown;

Airs drift across the twilight border land,

Odored with life;

...whispers to my heart are blown

That fill me with a joy I cannot speak,

Yea, from whose shadow words drop faint and weak.

Diary of an Old Soul - George MacDonald

"The heart has it's reasons which reason knows not of."

Blaise Pascal

"When the desire is too much to bear, we often bury it beneath frenzied thoughts and activities or escape it by dulling our immediate consciousness of living. It is possible to run away from the desire for years, even decades, at a time, but we cannot eradicate it entirely. It keeps touching us in the little glimpses and hints in our dreams, our hopes, our unguarded moments."

The Awakened Heart, Gerald May

"The secret that begins to solve the riddle of our lives is simply this: we are the sea lion who lost the sea. Life as usual is not the life we truly want. It is not the life we truly need. It is not the life we were made for. If we would only listen to our hearts, to what G. K. Chesterton called "divine discontent", we would learn the secret of our existence."

The Journey of Desire, John Eldredge

"Our Creator would never have made such lovely days, and given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Something awful has happened; something terrible. Something worse, even, than the fall of man. For in that greatest of all tragedies, we merely lost Paradise - and with it, everything that made life worth living. What has happened since is unthinkable: we've gotten use to it. We're broken in to the idea that this is just the way things are. The people who walk in great darkness have adjusted their eyes. Regardless of our religious or philosophical beliefs, most of us live as though this life is pretty much the way things are supposed to be. We dismiss the whispers of joy with a cynical "Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt." That way we won't have to deal with the haunting."

John Eldredge

What good will it be for man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?

Matthew 16:26

Simone Weil said, "There are only two things that pierce the human heart, beauty and affliction."

"Moments we wish would last forever and moments we wish had never begun." John Eldredge

I travel my days living with the angst and ignoring it. I want to learn better how to live gently with the discontentment that is inevitable in this present life. To not expect too much, but not settle for too little as well. To live fully in every moment with my heart open despite the pain it may receive.

I am not doing well with this balancing thing right now...I close up when things get hard. I want to ignore them or scream my head of...

I know this post is too long, but I have this feeling that I am not alone in these feelings, and I wanted you to know you are not alone in them as well.

Here's the story of "The Sea Lion" if you want to read it...and you want to read it.

Grace and peace

weekend playing

2011-07-31T11:39:00.001-04:00

Once a month we have a Greg and Mary day. Not that we don't do things together at other times, but these particular days are put on the calendar. They are on Fridays, and my husband and I spend the day together. I have to admit that there are more "Mary" days than there are "Greg days", and this Friday was no exception.

My husband asked me if I was getting low on art supplies...

is there ever a time we are not I ask???

We went to "Binders" in Buckhead. I don't go very often, but it's worth a trip now and again. They were having an incredible canvas sale as well.

Saturday my "girls" came over for an art day.(Bethany and Alice you were missed) I played with my new supplies.

Wonderful Holbein acrylic Gouache. Funny, I used them when I began journaling in 2007. I love the stuff, it gives you the flow that watercolor does with more intense opaque color and it is permanent when dry. I am liking the messy spontaneous results of it.

I also played with Derwent Intense Blocks and pencils.

I got this wonderful book of stencils. "Protest Stencil Toolkit" lol There are some I will probably never use, but there are lots I really like. I promise to only use them in my journals or on canvas!!! :)

Having fun playing with this looser, messy, free style. Carrying this journal with me, writing to do lists, notes, etc.

Oh, Jennifer over at Ripplespeak has moved. Go check out her new home, you don't want to miss a single yummy post.

xxoo

mistakes

2011-07-27T16:35:00.005-04:00

i did not like how this background was going so i took some gesso and a large piece of sequin waste and began to cover it. i then wrote all over it expecting to continue adding additional layers. what i wrote made me stop and think...i will probably cover it, but for now i'm gonna sit with it for a bit.

Are You Listening?

2011-07-24T09:04:00.000-04:00

This was first posted on June 29, 2009

It's a good reminder for me, for all of us I think to do "heart" checks every now and again. I know that if I don't then I am not even honest with myself and God when it comes to "seeing" what's really going on under all the activity.

I can pretend so well...

Another portion of "The Sacred Romance" by John Eldredge.

"For what shall we do when we wake one day to find we have lost touch with our hearts and with it the very refuge where God's presence resides?

Starting very early, life has taught all of us to ignore and distrust the deepest yearnings of our heart. Life, for the most part, teaches us to suppress our longing and live only in the external world where efficiency and performance are everything. We have learned from parents and peers, at school, at work, and even from our spiritual mentors that something else is wanted from us other than our heart, which is to say, that which is most deeply us. Very seldom are we ever invited to live out of our heart. If we are wanted, we are often wanted for what we can offer functionally. If rich, we are honored for our wealth; if beautiful, for our looks; it intelligent, for our brains. So we learn to offer only those parts of us that are approved, living out a carefully crafted performance to gain acceptance from those who represent life to us. We divorce ourselves from our heart and begin to live a double life. Frederick Buechner expresses this phenomenon in his biographical work. Telling Secrets:

Our orginal shimmering self gets buried so deep we hardly live out of it at all....rather, we learn to live out of all the other selves which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world's weather.

Communion with God is replaced by activity for God. There is little time in this outer world for deep questions. Given the right plan, everything in life can be managed...except your heart.

The inner life, the story of your heart, is the life of deep places within us, our passions and dreams, our fears and our deepest wounds. It is the unseen life, the mystery within - what Buechner calls our "shimmering self." It cannot be managed like a corporation. The heart does not respond to principles and programs; it seeks not efficiency, but passion. Art, poetry, beauty, mystery, ecstasy: These are what rouse the heart. Indeed, they are the language that must be spoken if one wishes to communicate with the heart. It is why Jesus so often taught and related to people by telling stories and asking questions. His desire was not just to engage their intellects but to capture their hearts.

Indeed, if we will listen, a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. We've heard it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. The Romance is even present in times of great personal suffering: the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a friend. Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure.

This longing is the most powerful part of any human personality. It fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. However we may describe this desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life. And the voice that calls to us in this is place is none other than the voice of God.

We cannot hear this voice if we have lost touch with our heart."

Are you listening??

I wanted to say something here because some might think that to live from the heart is the same as living out of your emotions. I do not believe this to be true. Our "heart" is who we are. Emotions are not who we are, but things we experience. They are not good or bad in themselves. They are telling us how we are feeling at the moment. It is what we do with our emotions that matters. That is more telling of the state of our heart.

Blessings!

you become

2011-07-14T17:02:00.001-04:00

"You become. It takes time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Velveteen Rabbit

This is in my large Moleskine journal. I have taped the portion from "The Velveteen Rabbit" to the page. I think I will write it in one of the butterflies in white - or not...

yep, more journal backgrounds

2011-07-11T16:25:00.001-04:00

it's 4:15 pm and i am still in my p.j.'s

it's been an art kind of a day

i wanted to get several backgrounds completed

so when the stirring to journal occurs i don't have to stop and prepare a background

some were easier than others, and i think i have enough variety for the moment

who know what they will become...

more journal pages

2011-07-11T11:33:00.003-04:00

this took way too long

it began with yellow, terracotta, and cranberry drips

added three violet cut out hearts from old dried baby wipes (do you save yours)

screwed it up - royally

pulled off the hearts and this is what was behind them

decided to work with them

sprayed bottle green...hated it

mixed gesso into the mix and got a pale green

sprayed and dripped "stream" a beautiful blue

threw on a few white paint splats

wrote a quote and then taped the same quote over it

added a few pieces of black masking tape

not totally pleased with it, but it's okay

looks more like my older journal pages, but I guess since

that is "my style" that is what comes out.

gonna keep playing

oh, i like to leave blank space on my pages

i like to come back to my pages again and again, sometimes

they say something different to me further along on my journey

fun at the dinner table

2011-07-10T21:51:00.000-04:00

why this face you ask??? for those of you who have seen the movie

"The Holiday" you will understand this...

"Mr. Napkin-head"

otherwise known as Aunt Megan

just a little silliness at the dinner table!

more playing

2011-07-09T19:36:00.002-04:00

another fast messy journal spread

gesso, spray inks, tissue paper and a little black and white paint

fun

playing

2011-07-08T18:48:00.002-04:00

this is something very different for me

i have been feeling that i want to do something a little more edgy, messy in my journal

i am not even sure what i mean when i say that

this is a small Moleskine journal

i want to carry it around with me

i want to be able to scribble

take notes

make lists

just the stuff of life while i am living it

so i am just going to play a bit and see what happens

almost feels like i am starting at the beginning again

when it feels like nothing is happening...

2011-07-04T09:34:00.002-04:00

"There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

Philippians 1:6 (msg)

We are none of us finished

None done

We are half-baked

Half-built

Half-beautiful

Creator God, continue us

Craft us to completion

God is an artist, shaping lives to be beautiful. If you're partway on the journey, changed perhaps a little but all too aware that you have not changed enough, know this: God has not finished with you yet.

-Gerard Kelly, Twitturgies

looking back

2011-07-02T19:57:00.003-04:00

check out the date

some of my beginnings

hearts

color

lots of bright beautiful color

still seems to be a theme

hope you all are having a good weekend

journey to contentment

2011-06-29T10:38:00.004-04:00

You have seen this journal spread before. This learning contentment thing is not easy. In fact it's hard. And I am trying to figure out the difference with being content with how things are...but still dreaming dreams. I think they co-exist. They have to...we must have dreams.

I am reading "The Greener Grass Conspiracy" and the author say this, "Contentment is first and foremost a matter of the heart. It's possible to deny yourself every worldly pleasure and still be discontent...Self-denial doesn't automatically lead to contentment. In fact, self-denial can cause us to miss opportunities to enjoy wonderful gifts from God. Steak is a gift from God. Coffee is a drink that is 95 percent heavenly. When I eat a medium-rare steak and give thanks to God for the happiness that is occurring in my mouth, I honor God. Self-denial does not equal contentment. On the flip side, it's possible to have everything this world has to offer and still be furiously discontent. King Solomon's life was a constant pleasure cruise. He really did have everything this world could offer - money, women, power, luxury, and all the alcohol he could drink. Yet after a life of hedonistic exploits, Solomon made the following observation.

Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had

expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving

after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.

(Eccl. 2:11)

Having it all doesn't equal contentment."

He also says, "Contentment is a disposition of the heart that freely and joyfully submits to God's will, whatever that will may be."

So being content doesn't mean I do not or cannot desire things. God give us desires. But I do have to ask myself, do I desire the thing more than I desire God or his will in a certain situation?

You know this Christian life, journey is such an organic thing. It's not this list of things we can and cannot do. It's an ongoing process...relationship is a better word.

So this is where I have landed for now. I say for now because God continues to teach me, changing my heart and mind where I sees things incorrectly.

There are a few dreams that seem to keep hanging on...I have asked God to remove them if they are not also his dreams for me. To keep me on the right path. But I am learning to be content where he has me right now. It may be those dreams will come to fruition...but it will be in his timing not mine. As I keep plugging along my prayer is that he adjusts my thoughts, desires, dreams where they are not in keeping with his for me...but I keep dreaming.

I would love to hear about your journey.

Grace and Peace

Cornhole and life

2011-06-24T09:14:00.000-04:00

Did you know there is such a thing as an American Cornhole Association?

And there are ACA official rules of Cornhole and Corn Toss?

For those of you whose excitement is just too much you can check it out here.

All kidding aside, it really is a fun game to play.

A few posts back, (seem ages ago) I mentioned Meg and I were painting cornhole boards. Here are a few photos of the first completed board. These are not great photos, but they will have to do since we will not be posing for this again!! lol It was late at night when these were taken and we were tired and goofy. Meg will probably shoot me when she sees I posted this photo of her.

There were not supposed to be flowers on the boards. My husband pleaded that we paint no flowers or hearts...we were going to do a sun, but screwed it up so it became a sunflower. So of course the other board has a flower on it too...well we have to be somewhat consistent!! I am going to paint on the side of the board.

Girls play Cornhole too

There lots of good things going on here. I have on my calendar Visual Journaling workshops scheduled through the end of the year at my home church. And beginning in August I will be teaching at a wonderful place called Out Of The Box Art Studio. I will be teaching VJ at their Women's Night Out sessions as well as High School students during a few day sessions. I would have loved to have known about VJ in High School. I think it can be a great outlet, both creatively and emotionally for them.

We have had a few big storms here...took out our internet for a time. My son has fixed it temporally, but we need to replace some stuff. So if I am absent from Blogland for a time or don't seem to be visiting as much that's why.

Grace and Peace

something trying to break through

2011-06-15T12:38:00.001-04:00

I was reminded today why visual journaling is so powerful and surprising.

After weeks of neglect I picked up my jouranl and began adding color with no outcome in mind. I added the large heart and then the smaller ones around it. Really hated the colors I had picked as well as the images (more hearts Mary?) so my intention was to cover it up and begin again. I took my pallet knife and began making slash marks across the whole thing...and as I was doing it I felt and thought...this is right.

I have been feeling crappy lately. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

It happens.

I have my eyes and heart open in expectation.

new life to an old piece

2011-06-14T14:46:00.000-04:00

This piece measures 23 x 10. It was a framed quote that hung above the mantel in the kitchen. It was a lovely quote, but I wanted more color... I usually don't leave as much white showing, but I really like it on this piece.

Did you see the movie??? It was so much fun to watch. They showed more of the living room than I expected, and when they panned in on "Open Wide Your Heart"...well Meg and I screamed!! lol Also, when they turned and walked out of the living room you could see the family photos on the piece in the hallway...well, we know who they are...

It's hot here and we need rain! I am wilting as much as the hydrangeas in our front yard are.

Oh, are you still wondering what Cornhole is??? They are just about finished...i'll post them as soon as they are.

heart revisited and movie

2011-06-09T18:43:00.002-04:00

Remember when I posted about the movie that our home was in? It's almost time...we have seen trailers for it on TV.

Here's the info.

Field of Vision

NBC

Saturday 11, 2011

8:00pm

It looks like a good family movie. We are Cory's foster parents home...just a few short scenes, but fun non the less. If you click on the movie title you can read more about it.

another heart

2011-06-07T12:00:00.003-04:00

this little heart is 8x8

trying to mix things up a bit...i did not splatter paint and

i continued the front paint onto the sides instead of my usual black sides.

i think the heart needs a little bit of the darker blue added for more contrast, but

overall i am liking this.

meg and i cleaned the studio yesterday. makes it so much nicer to work in.

we are painting cornhole boards. yes, i said cornhole...does anyone play?? i think it's a southern thing...and i think it needs a different name...it brings back memories of beavis and butthead... yes, i know who they are...have boys!!

now these are not your usual painted boards...will post them when we are finished.

oh, went back and splattered dark blue on the heart. it looks much better.

around the house

2011-06-03T08:05:00.001-04:00

i don't know what it is that draws me to these round balls of blue goodness

large or small, dark or light i love them...everywhere

and does anyone remember these vases...1960...when i picked up the large one my husband about gagged. he said you have got to be kidding...then i found the smaller one. need one more for a collection. lol

I seem to be drawn to orange too

i wanted to show you where i hung this painting. loving it there.

twitturgies

2011-06-01T10:47:00.001-04:00

Arrest

Arrest me God with

the beauty of your

world. Open my eyes

to see beyond

myself your glory

And to find within

myself your art

I have a new book by Gerard Kelly, the author of Spoken Worship. Twitturgies are liturgies using the Twitter format: personal prayers in 140 characters or less. They are updated on average twice daily.

Abiding Monday

2011-05-30T11:43:00.001-04:00

We are such complex beings. We can appear to be one thing, and that thing can be partially true about us, or it can all be an act. We are good at appearing to be one thing on the outside and something entirely different on the inside. Often we try hard to hide what's really true because we fear we will not be liked for who we really are, how could they we think, we do not even like who we are on the inside. I was at that place four years ago.

I am finding it a hard thing to give up old ways of doing life. Patterns can be hard to break when you have lived in them for years and years. God can break patterns and bring healing in an instant, but I am finding for me it is more of a process. It's usually a few steps forward, and one back. I am also learning that that is okay. God does not expect perfection. I have learned that I am not "punished" when I don't live up to some requirement. I have learned that I can be honest about what is true and not hide it...he knows it anyway for goodness sake. It's more about being honest with myself. Agreeing with God about what is true about me and knowing his love is not dependent on my behavior at a given time. His love does not diminish when I screw up!

This is so freeing...to be able to peer under the waterline safely. To be able to begin addressing the junk that causes us to feel or act, or react in certain ways.

Hey you all, check out the shape of this iceberg...looks a bit heart shaped to me.

Grace, Love and Peace.