Abiding Monday

Good morning everyone.  This post is coming from my grandson's home.  His other Grandmother watched him over the weekend, I came back last night.  I will be with him for three more days.  Sean is such a sweet little guy.  He will be two next month and is keeping his Mina pretty busy.  He is eating his breakfast as I type this. 

I got up a little earlier this morning to have some solitude before our day began. 

Every so often my husband takes some extended time in prayer and solitude at Ignatius House. He is usually given an outline to follow.  Last weeks was a writing from Henri Nouwen.  "Moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry."  He made a copy for me to use. 

My grandson does not like monkeys for some odd reason.  He calls them "hoo hoo's"  :)  He says, "hoo hoos, bye bye!!!!   While reading the handout this morning I came across this.  "Your inner life is like a banana tree filled with monkeys jumping up and down." (oh I think I see a journal page here) I can so relate to this can you??  I have a hard time sitting quiet, my mind wonders and makes it difficult to hear. I know this about me, so I have begun to sit with my calendar/journal next to me and when something pops into my mind I write it down and move on.  I know God knows this about me, but he also knows my heart and my desire to spend time with him.  I am learning to not be so hard on myself when this happens.  But I am determined to not give up because I do not do it well.  I pray in time the "monkeys" in my mind will lesson as I learn to quiet my mind and heart.  

Blessings and hugs and few monkeys!    

etc...

Here is the flyer for the visual journaling workshop.  Becky, a very talented, creative, graphic artist friend designed this.  She used the background of one of my paintings. When I saw the finished version I was blown away.  I love that she used duct tape!!!!  I love everything about it. We did switch the two sentences at the bottom right about the journals.  This version sounds like "try to find a watercolor journal with thicker than normal pages."  It's interesting that by switching them changes the meaning.

Will you join me in prayer for this??  We have had maybe a dozen sign up so far. I know there are women who would like to try this, but feel they are not creative. First of all, I believe everyone is creative. And this is not about making a pretty page, but about getting out what's inside. So please pray specifically for those who feel the nudge to try this but are afraid.

I will be watching my grandson for several days beginning tomorrow. So just in case I do not get to my computer I wanted to let you know Jeniffer Hutchins will be posting my interview with her on Friday.

I wanted to let you know my interview is scheduled for September 27, not August 27th. 

Blessings and Hugs!!

Abiding Monday

Do I believe God meets us where we are???

You bet I do!

Curling up on the couch, still in my PJ's, and coffee cup in hand this was my first reading this morning.

"Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care.  They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands...When you release loved ones to Me, your are free to cling to My hand.  As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them.  My Presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest.  This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me.  Watch and see what I will do." 

(From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Blessings and Hugs!

beginnings

Making the room warm and homey

Color definitely helps

new friends

 She seemed excited about the next chapter in her life. So leaving her was easier than I expected. Greg and I arrived home around midnight last night.

  I woke up at 7:30.  I came downstairs and Meg's door was closed. 

I opened it and noticed how empty it seemed. A lot of her stuff is still here, but it felt empty.

I am having moments throughout the day of tearing up.  As I think about it, it's more than just her not being here, because she was out and about much of the time while she was at home. I think more than anything I am feeling some remorse at not doing things with her while I had the time to. Of letting precious moments fly by and not being more purposeful. I am not going to stay there, I know that is not productive.

And I know though our relationship will change, it does not have to be less, it can be more.

On a different level.

I'm trying not to text her every hour.  Actually I emailed her this morning and left it at that. 

For those of you who have children still at home, it goes by so very fast.  Make the most of every moment. 

Blessings and hugs!

preparations

A few gathered dorm room essentials.I know Meg is excited about setting her room up and making it feel cozy.  She, like me, loves to decorate and arrange rooms. 

And check out this duffel bag.  Isn't it one of the coolest ever!!

Thank you T. J. Maxx

We are off in a few hours, Thanks again for the prayers and well wishes for my health, and for the new journeys awaiting us.  I feel much better today, both physically, and emotionally.  A little more ready to let my baby girl fly.

Blessings!

the stuff of life

I have been known to move the furniture around here. I might have mentioned my husbands worst fear is that he will go blind and trip over something.  I used to move furniture as a distraction.  When I was upset, or not feeling good about myself.  Somehow when we are unhappy with ourselves we become unhappy with those around us and even with our surroundings.  There was an internal contentedness missing.  That has changed, well at least changing. I still move furniture, but for different reasons.  Now it purely the creative part of me that likes to change things up a bit.

I like this arrangement - for now. :)  The fireplace was originally a coal burning fireplace. The opening is small, but for some reason the brick area is huge.  I really dislike it.  It takes up way too much floor space.  As you can see the leather chairs are in front of it.  I'll move them when we begin to use it.

Thanks so much for all your prayers regarding my health, and for Meg's move. This is her last day and I still feel crappy. Yesterday the headache was gone and I was able to get some things accomplished. This morning the headache returned so I would appreciate your continued prayers.

Tonight the family is gathering for dinner. We are taking her to one of her favorite restaurants to get the meal she gets every single time we go there.  Oh hell, I am getting teary as I type this, how am I ever going to get through this?? Okay, I know I will.  This is a good thing, but it's harder on this Ole heart than I expected!

First journal

 Done in 2007

These are the second and third journal entries in my first visual journal. It's fun to look back and see progress both in my life and in my artistic endeavors. I also want those of you that are new to visual journaling, or those who have a desire to do so but are a little afraid to know your pages can be very simple.

These are watercolor on plain lined paper.  The second spread is a song that spoke to my heart.  

Please keep me in your prayers.  I am still feeling yucky.  We leave Thursday to move Meg into her dorm.  I need to be well!!!!

Blessings! 

looking back

Thank you all so much for your 

prayers 

and 

get well wishes.

I am still feeling a bit under the pile, but thankfully I am no longer doing the bladder dance!!

Do you journalers go back and look at your first journal pages?? Oh you need to if you do not.

This is from my very first journal.  It was a regular journal with thin, lined paper. I had no idea of what I was really doing. For you new journalers - just begin.

Look what the stamp on the top right says - A Splendid Adventure!

Something else I tell all new journalers.  DATE your pages!! I did not date this one, I wish I had.  I do know it was done in 2007 sometime. 

Blessings and hugs!

What next???

Okay, on top of still feeling yucky I have a bladder infection!!! 

 Doing the bladder dance here!!!!

Medicine on it's way as I type this.

 So please keep praying.  

Thank you my bloggy friends!!!!  

I love looking back at old journal pages. 

 They really are a way to keep track of our journeys.  

I get glimpses of this prayer coming true.  

Thank you Jesus!  

Chilling on the couch!

I have been feeling pretty crappy these past couple of days.  My daughter was sick last week, and I think it moved on to me!!!!!  I have been watching way too much TV.  My headache makes reading too hard.  For some reason we have Showtime for free for several weeks. There are a lot of stupid movies on it!!!!!


So I started going through old journals getting ready for the visual journaling workshop at my church.  Oh, you have to see the flyer.  One of the ladies in my Saturday journaling workshop is a graphic artist!! What she did was amazing.  I will post it later.


I don't recall if I posted many of my old journal pages, so I thought I would throw one in every now and then. There's that image of the little girl with her arms thrown wide open again.  It's been interesting to see how often I used it.


Okay, just wanted you all to know why I was not stopping by much this week to say hello, or comment.


Please send up a little prayer for me, we move Meg into her dorm next week and I don't want to be sick her last week at home.


Blessings!!

Abiding Monday

I had this little devotional book called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. I gave it to my daughter last year. For my birthday a friend gave me another copy. Apparently God wanted me to read it again. I am thankful He did.

Yesterdays reading:


"I speak to you from deepest heaven. You hear Me in the depth of your being.  Deep calls to deep. You are blessed to hear Me so directly. Never take this privilege for granted. The best response is a heart overflowing with gratitude. I am training you to cultivate a thankful mind-set. This is like building your house on a firm rock, where life's storms cannot shake you.  As you learn these lessons, you are to teach them to others. I will open up the way before you, one step at a time."  (Psalm 42:7; Psalm 95:1-2; Matthew 7:24-25)


God seems to be doing this in my life, one step at a time. One more little nugget of truth. They have been little baby steps. He has been gentle in his workings. But today a verse came to mind that shook me a bit."Though he slay me, I will trust in him." (Job 13:15) My prayer for sometime has been, Lord I really do want you to be first in my life. For I know that only He can fill the voids in my heart. That when I fill them with other things, they may ease the emptiness or pain for a short time, but they always return. This morning I gave Him permission to do what He needs to do. God is gracious, he will not push himself where he is not wanted.

Father, may I trust you in the process.  Help me not to want to return to my "Egypt's".

Blessings!

Bare Beauty Baskets

 Bare Beauty Baskets  

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Why not encourage that special woman with the best kind of hug?

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friends's day.

Warning: We can't guarantee your gift basket of beautiful

scarves won't produce spontaneous outbursts of delight,

or even joyful tears!

The above portion is from Bare Beauty Baskets. A friend of mine owns this business.  I have seen these in person and they are beautiful and creatively packaged.  If you have some time stop by and take a look.

Blessings!

I have a request

I am excited to say I have been invited to share visual journaling with the women of my church. Beginning to journal ones feelings in any form can be a little frightening. And those that have never seen or heard about visual journaling will have many questions as to what it is and it's benefits. I would love to give them some encouragement in the form of quotes from other visual journalers. In the brochure that will be given out, I have mentioned the various ways visual journaling can be used.

To work through problems

To release powerful and distressing emotions

To discover insights about yourself

To explore you interior world

For relaxation

For self-expression

If you are willing, I would love to hear from you as to how you use visual journaling and what it means to you. You can email me with your reply at maryefreeman@hotmail.com   

Thanks so very much!

Abiding Monday

Continuing in "The Seeking Heart" by Charles Ringma

A Renewed Listening

Transforming those inner voices

It is both interesting and necessary for us to reflect on our own inner talking. Most of us talk a lot to ourselves. And much of what we have to say is not necessarily good or helpful. Much of our self-talk is negative. For some, their inner world is the ever-running broken record of insecurity, woundedness, and fear.

I know something of this inner world. The formative years of my life without the presence of my father because of war and immigration, left me insecure, reactive, and aggressive. Mine was a confused inner world.

Those who have read many of the writings of my conversation partner in these reflections will know that Nouwen long suffered from insecurities, a sense of rejection, and from an uncomfortability regarding his own personhood. This led either to a crowded clinging to or a sense of rage toward others.

What we need to recognize is that our self-talk is never simply our own talk, for these inner voices are also the voices of others and the wounding we have received at their hands. It is also possible that our inner voice picks up the vibrations of generational dysfunctionalities. In extreme cases our inner voices may become the voice of a split personality or the voice of demonic forces.

We can't ignore these inner voices. While the extreme cases need careful pastoral and professional attention, the transformation of our inner voices is essential to our inner healing and general well-being. The journey of faith can't ignore being attentive to the confusion and sometimes chaos within.

The starting point in what may be a long process of inner renewal is the gift and ability to hear another voice. A contrary voice. A voice of a very different melody.

It is usually not the case that this voice is so loud that it drowns out our own inner voices. Rather, it is that this voice is so winsome that it begins to subvert and destabilize our inner voices. Nouween speaks of the necessity "to be empty, free, and open, conscious of God-with-us, sensing God present, listening with our hearts to the voice of love."  This voice is none other than the whispers of the Spirit, the very breath of the God of love.

To hear in the very depth of my being that God has known me from the very beginning, even while I was being formed in my mother's womb; to hear that in Christ God's love is for me and toward me; to hear that God sees me and loves me with unbounded grace; to hear that I may shelter in his presence and be fed at he banqueting table - to hear these voices brings hope to the most insecure, fearful, angry, and broken parts of our lives.

This voice of love echoes in the heart chambers of the whole of humanity. Its whispers are also in our own hearts. We need a new attentiveness to hear it, for sadly we seem to prefer the familiar voices of chaos than the Voice that can set us free.

While we may wish that God would shout, the Voice of love can already be heard.  It echoes from a rugged cross.  Its richly textured melodies lie secure within the Gospel stories.  And the pervasive voice of the brooding Spirit seeks to awaken us to the Voice that can dynamite or erode our inner voices of fear, distrust, and anxiety.  

What is your inner talking like these days??  Mine has not been very positive.  I have a feeling I'm not the only one.  May we take those thoughts first to God and ask if there is any truth to them, and if so ask for change, and if not may we ask him to replace them with truth.  

Blessings!