winds of change

I feel the winds of change.....

Not quite sure what they are.....

While I was waiting for these photos to load my gaze fell upon a journal

I purchased from Roben Marie.  The cover says, "efforts and courage are

not enough without purpose and direction."

 

Purpose and direction matter.  Maybe that is what is changing.

Abiding Monday

Today I wanted to share a book with you.  It is the first book in The Apprentice Series, which along with two other books form a "curriculum for Christlikeness."  The aim of the first book is to help people discover the God Jesus revealed.  

"The Good and Beautiful God" by James Bryan Smith.

From the introduction:  "Each chapter deals with false concepts and the true one, namely, the narrative of Jesus. Each chapter also contains a soul-training exercise to help imbed the narrative of Jesus more deeply into our minds, bodies, and souls.  These exercises are not mean to to make you more religious or impress God.  They are meant to help you see and understand the world as Jesus did."

From the first chapter:   "Would you like to have abiding peace?  Would you like to have a heart that is filled with love?  Would you like to have the kind of faith that see everything - even your failures and losses - in light of God's governance for good?  Would you like to have the kind of hope that endures even in discouraging circumstances?"

"A lot of people want to change and would answer yes to these questions, but many of them do not believe it is possible.  After years of trying and failing, they lead a Christian life of quiet desperation, longing for change and yet certain it will never happen.  So they sit in their pews each week, sighing silently, resigned to their fate."

"I used to think that way.  I tried and tried and tried to change.  I prayed and prayed, pleading with God, begging God to change me.  All to no avail.  I wanted to become the kind of person Jesus described in the Sermon on the Mount - a person who loved his enemies and never worried about anything.  But when I looked into my own heart, I discovered that I not only did not love my enemies, I didn't even love some of my friends, and I worried about everything."

From Dallas Willard - "The best practice I have seen in Christian spiritual formation."

From Richard J. Foster - "I urge you to buy this book immediately!  Read it......Then live it out in the context of a loving community.  You will not regret doing so."

I can't wait to dig in!!!!

Blessings!  

words, words, words, where did they go???????

Hmmm, I think it's happening again!

Hey, I think I may need some help here!

Yep, I need some help here!!!!

Word verification!!!!
Several weeks back I could no longer view the "word" to type in the word verification box.  I switched from Firefox to Explorer and that took care of the problem.  Well, it has happened again while in Explorer.
Does anyone know what I might have done, or have any of you had this problem and know how to fix it????

Actually, it's kind of funny after my question about the amount of time spent blog hopping on my last post!!!!!
Wonder if someone is trying to tell me something?????  :)

Never mind, they are working again - but isn't Jack cute!!!  :)

Why??

So many times I am brought back to why I blog. This is one such time, and I decided to write it down. I think a bit clearer and orderly when I can actually see the words. I wonder if it has to do with being so visual. Sometimes my mind is a jumble of fragmented thoughts that I cannot hear clearly myself.

I think the excerpt on my blog about why to blog mentions some reasons and I still believe those. I also know it broadens my world, and my creative side. I get to see and interact with so many wonderful artists and souls. A different kind of connection than face to face friends, but the touching of my heart is as real as the friends I can physically touch and hug!!!

And speaking to all you wonderful blogging friends, sometimes I do not get to visit as often as I would like and that brings me to another thought. How much time do I spend connecting? When does something good turn into something more?? I ask myself this frequently. Am I getting too caught up in how many “followers” I have or how many comments I receive? How many times a day do I check for new comments??? I know for me I do have to be careful. I know that I like affirmation. I like it when someone says I have done something wonderful. And I think that is okay to a point. But I must be careful that I do not base my worth on what I do, and if I do it well.

I think another reason I blog is to share my journey. My hope is that in asking myself questions or voicing my weaknesses and struggles they will speak to fellow travelers with the same or similar questions. Also, in giving the questions, insecurities, and ideas a voice they may encourage others to begin to look at their own questions and heart.

I am sure the reasons to blog are as various as the bloggers themselves. But I think there is a desire to connect within all of us. I want to say thank you for those I have met along this journey. You have enriched my life greatly – each and every one of you.

Blessings to you all!

Hope Notes

 

 

I am participating in a wonderful project called Hope Notes begun by Liz Miller, a volunteer at Helpmate, a domestic violence agency located in Asheville, NC.   I heard about it at Kim's, and you can learn more about it here and here.  Liz is also in coordinating an event where the cards will be on display, called "Hope in the Handwriting".  For more information and to purchase tickets go here. 

I used photos of my original paintings to make these.  Then added some "Hope" quotes in them.

Go check it out.

Brazil Photos

These were taken on a recent mission trip to Brazil my husband and daughter were on. 

I thought they were great images to use in journal pages.  Feel free to copy them for your own personal use.

Abiding Monday

Matthew 6:1-13

"Be especially careful when you are trying to be good

so that you don't make a performance out of it.  It might

be good theater, but the God who made you won't

be applauding.......And when you come before God, don't

turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people

making a regular show out of there prayers, hoping for

stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

Here's what I want you to do:  Find a quiet, secluded

place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God.

Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage.

The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin

to sense his grace.

The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are

prayer-ignorant.  They're full of formulas and programs and

advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from

God. Don't fall for that nonsense.  This is your Father you are

dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need.

With a God like this loving you, you can pray

very simply.  Like this:

Our Father in heaven,

Reveal who you are.

Set the world right;

Do what's best-

as above, so below.

Keep us alive with three square meals.

Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.

Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.

You're in charge!

You can do anything you want!

You're ablaze in beauty!

Yes. Yes. Yes."

The Message

We can make prayer so complicated.

"Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage.

The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin

to sense his grace." 

Abiding

New Painting

I just completed a new painting for a friend.

The burnt orange/rust color is more metalic looking in person.

It measures 18x36.

Faith

It may not look like it

It may not feel like it

It may not hear like it

but

God is working!

Compulsions

I posted the excerpt a few months back.  I re-read the piece after some time with God, and doing this journal page.  It's an interesting thing to read something again, and have it speak to you in a different way because you are in a different place.  Maybe a little more willing to "see". 

There is an issue, okay lets call it what it is, sin in my life that I have struggled with for many, many years.  Probably most of my adult life.  It is one of the biggest ways I get my "emptiness" filled.  There are many reasons I can see that caused this to become what I use to fill myself, I won't go into that now. 

Why am I letting hundreds know this???  Well speaking it out loud takes some of the strength from it, and I do believe there are others that struggle with the same issue.

God and I have been working on this issue for awhile.  I can see a gradual releasing of my hearts grip on things, but I can also see how my heart can justify itself when I want something.  I am not saying that buying things is wrong, because we all know things in themselves are not bad.  It's our grip on them.  I don't hold things with a tight fist, I am a giver, I like to give, but I also like new things!!!  I like pretty things around me.  Again, beautiful surroundings are not bad.  God created beauty, abundant beauty.

But I am beginning to know my heart a little better.

Charles Ringma says,  "The changes that will reorient our inner compulsions that spring so often from our wounded self, come by way of purgation and painful transformations. Inner change involves self-confrontation, disarmament, relinquishment, and the journey toward wholeness. On this road there are no shortcuts and certainly no quick fixes."

I believe this.  I believe God does the changing in my heart.  But I also believe there is a place for me to say "No"!!!!  Why do I think this will be an easy thing to change, and that God will just zap me and make it go away???  He can of course, but usually he does not. 

I want to so tell you why this is an issue for me.  To tell you a bit about my childhood, and to say see, this is why!!!  I am not so bad!!!!!  But the fact is it does not matter.  Because I'm not so bad - I am loved, accepted, cherished as I am.  But I have things as we all do that God wants to heal.   Your way of getting that emptiness filled may be different than mine, but we all have them. 

I don't want anything to have a grip on my heart - except the maker of my heart. 



Compulsions-Transforming our inner motivations


The journey of transformation into the image and likeness of Christ is never a call for change that has to do only with spiritual activities such as prayer and meditation. The transformation that Scripture has in view is a full-orbed one. It is a transformation that has all of a person in view: the personal and the social, the inward and the outward, the spiritual and the political.


Some do not see this integral perspective. They hold that the following of Christ has primarily to do with the afterlife. Others see their relationship with Christ primarily in terms of developing inner virtues. Others again see Christian discipleship within the frame of the work for peace and justice.


But growth in Christ and walking in the way of Christ involves all of this and more. No human activity is excluded from God's concern. No part of our lives is out of bounds for the renewing and transformation work of the Spirit, including our genetic and social shaping and configuration.


While one may speak about a certain predisposition in terms of who we are physically, emotionally, intellectually, there is no suggestion that the human being is simply a predetermined and programmed. Change and growth are possible. And the gracious renewing work of God in our lives can bring about a shift in our motivations and orientation.


This is not to suggest that this happens overnight or comes prepackaged with our conversion. It is a process. God's healing grace is for all the areas in our lives where we have become wounded and things have become skewed and even twisted.


Henri Nouwen confesses: "I know too well how hard it is to live without being needed, being wanted, being asked, being known, being admired, being praised." And I can add: I know how easy it is for me to be functional rather than relational, overdoing things rather than balancing activity with Sabbath, activity-centered rather than prayerful, self-protective rather than vulnerable.


So there are things in us that need to change. Conversion and coming to faith are not the end but merely the beginnings of this transformational process. And these called-for changes in our way of thinking and doing won't come easily as scattered seed from the sower's hand.


The changes that will reorient our inner compulsions that spring so often from our wounded self, come by way of purgation and painful transformations. Inner change involves self-confrontation, disarmament, relinquishment, and the journey toward wholeness. On this road there are no shortcuts and certainly no quick fixes.


God's renewing work is not to do violence to us but to heal us and make us whole. This is the strong but gentle work of God. This is purging the darkness and healing the wounded places.


None of us can escape this sculpting of God's Spirit within our lives. We may long be oblivious to our own needs. We may long resist the gracious healing hand of God. But finally we do need to yield ourselves into the hands of the One who made all things and seeks to make us whole.
By Charles R. Ringma, "The Seeking Heart - A Journey with Henri Nouwen"

Blessings, and may what Jesus Christ gives freely be deeply and personally yours my friends.

Abiding

You sweep away what we treasure

Our salute to you tumbles out:

Lord, sovereign, governor, king

political images of us before you, gender specific,

marked by macho.

Sometimes we speak the terms glibly, out of habit.

Sometimes we speak them with gravity, counting on you.

But sometimes we are brought up short to see,

yet again,

that you are not kidding: you are other than us.

you will not be mocked.

Lord, sovereign, governor, king:

In your will you sweep away what we treasure,

We watch...and you sweep away a range of our idolatries,

apartheid...but not yet our racism,

military regimes...but not yet our superpower,

heresies..but not yet our self-indulgence.

You, you who sweep away and purge,

Sweep yet the systems of disobedience all around us,

sweep yet the networks of self-securing we treasure,

sweep yet our own childhoods that trap us,

sweep yet our little loves that disable us,

sweep yet our little fears that rob us of you,

sweep yet and make new.

Do your Friday sweep yet again, and

suit us for your Sunday governance.

Amen.

Prayers of Walter Brueggemann

"Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth"

  I can too easily place my Father on the back burner of my heart!   

Lovely weekend

My family was gone for the weekend.  So I had a slumber party.  Four of my good friends came over Friday evening (a few were missing - we missed you).  Just a time to hang together, catch up and relax.  It has been so hot here the last few days, but it cooled off enough to light some candles and spend a few hours on the screened porch.  Friends are so good for the heart.  Here is one of my favorite quotes. 

A friend is someone who knows the song

in your heart and can sing it back

to you when you have

forgotten the words.

~author unknown

I completed these backgrounds in my collage journal.  I think I will write this quote on one of these pages.

Two more backgrounds

Here are two more collaged journal pages.  I have noticed that in my journals that are mostly painted I do spreads.  I don't know why I do not do that in this one.  Each page stands on its own though they might have similar elements to tie them together. 

I did a little spray-painting on these pages.  And yes, there is more yummy tape!!  I just love that stuff.

Flirt and I are both on the mend.  Thanks for all your well wishes and prayers.

Crap happens!

 

Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers for our Flirtsy!  She is home and doing quite well.  They removed 7 stones from her little bladder.  She will have to be on a special food for the rest of her life, but that's a small price to pay to keep those nasty stones away!!! 

I picked her up this morning.  While I was at the vet there was another lady there.  Her two small dogs were on leashes, one a very old blind dog kept rubbing up against my leg (I did bathe this morning).  I kept telling the doggie she had the wrong mommy!! I bent down to pet her and the other dog, on a leash too ran over and bit me!!!!  Can you believe it!!!  The lady knew her dog was a biter too.  Well, the bite was not too bad, though it did bleed a bit.  She was very sorry, and I could tell she felt horrible which made me say, oh it's okay, it's okay.  (I have a tendency to do that - dismiss things that happen to me)  I did ask if the dog had all it's required shots!!  I went home dumped peroxide on my thumb and put a band-aid on it. 

I got a call from the vet this afternoon, not asking about Flirt, but me!  :)  I had been thinking I might need a tetanus shot.  Couldn't remember the last time I had one.  The vet said I even though it was a small bite I should have it looked at and get the shot.  So off the local  Urgent care place.  I was given a shot, and antibiotics!!! 

I've been thinking the blind dog just might have been in on it, you know a team!!!!  :) :) :) 

So, I have a sore foot (my broken toe gets me every now and again)  My thumb hurts, and I know my arm will be sore tomorrow from the shot!!  All on my right side!!!!! 

I think I'm gonna go have a glass of wine!!  Well crap!  I can't with the antibiotics!!!!!  Well it's ice cream then!!! 

Two More

One completed page

and

one background

see some new transparent tape?

Yum!!

Oh, I have decided I don't like to use gel medium to glue images on theses.  Though it's great for smooth backgrounds it gets a little messy,and if it gets on the top of the image it's hard to write on.  If I am doing a painting or mixed-media piece I use the gel medium and cover the image with it too, especially if I will be adding paint on top. But in these collage journal pages I want to be able to write directly on top of the papers and images.  I have found a glue stick I like a lot.  It's Scotch wrinkle -free glue stick. 

I am off to take our kitty Flirt to the vet.  She has a bladder full of stones and is having surgery today. 

Prayer

From Whom No Secrets Are Hid

We are rich conundrums of secrets,

we weave a pattern of lies in order to be

well thought of,

we engage in subterfuge about our truth.

We carry old secrets too painful to utter,

too shameful to acknowledge,

too burdensome to bear,

of failures we cannot undo,

of alienations we regret but cannot fix,

of grandiose exhibits we cannot curb.

And you know them.

You know them all.

And so we take a deep sigh in your presence,

no longer needing to pretend and

cover up and

deny.

We mostly do not have big sins to confess,

only modest shames that do not

fit our hoped-for selves.

And then we find that your knowing is more

powerful than our secrets.

You know and do not turn away,

and our secrets that seemed too powerful

are emptied of strength,

secrets that seemed too burdensome

are now less severe.

We marvel that when you find us out

you stay with us,

taking us seriously,

taking our secrets soberly,

but not ultimately,

overpowering our little failure

with your massive love

and abiding patience.

We long to be fully, honestly

exposed to your gaze of gentleness.

in the moment of your knowing

we are eased and lightened,

and we feel the surge of joy move in our bodies,

because we are not ours in cringing

but yours in communion.

We are yours and find the truth before you

makes us free for

wonder, love, praise – and new life.

Prayer by

Walter Brueggmann

Finished last night

Finished this one last night.  I like the simplicity of a single element in the center. 

I think with these kinds of journal pages I would like to begin to make them more personal, with items from the day to day stuff  of life and personal photos. 

I hope you have a lovely day.  It looks like we could get some rain!!!

Oh, see the left border??  It's tape.  I have purchased a few rolls of the wonderful, fabulous decorative tapes available.  I could go nuts with this stuff!!!

another one

I am not sure if I am totally pleased with this one, but that's okay.  I am learning. 

I know I don't like the outline around her face.  And I think it maybe needs something more on the right upper side to balance it.  But you know, it's one journal page.  So I am moving on.  Maybe I'll come back to it later, but for now I am not going to over think it.  I know there will be some pages I really like and some I don't 

I keep telling myself to enjoy the process, enjoy the learning.

Wishing you all a great Saturday!!

Fun, fun, fun

Here are two more collage pages.  I am having a blast I tell you!!! 
I can see I could get in trouble with this too.  I keep thinking about all the wonderful papers, tapes, stickers, etc...........oh, oh, oh!!!!  I also like that I can use more of my fun pens - they write better on paper than paint. 

I have used collage elements on journal pages that were primarily painted, and I have a feeling I will be using paint along with collage again, but for now I am having fun painting with paper!!! 

My first few pages I used a glue stick - not a very good one.  Then some regular glue.  I did not like the wrinkles they left.  So I am back with gel medium, but I am very careful not to get any on the front.  You can't write over that stuff very well!! 

I have not journaled or doodled on these.  I think I like the idea of doing lots of pages in advance, and having them completed to take with me when I go out.   I somehow feel a little freeer in writing everyday stuff on these as well, don't know why that is!! 

I am going to try to set this collaging aside and do what needs to be done around here today!!! 

I said try!!!!

Opheila do you see I used the ledger paper you sent me??  Thank you again, I love them.

Help

I need your help!  I cannot leave comments on blogs that ask for a word verification any longer.  After I click to post the comment it says "your word does not match", but it does not give me the word to type.  Has anyone else had this problem???

Okay, I have snakes on the brain.  I looked up and saw my post title "Help"  then the words on my photo - "open wide"  had a little chuckle to myself!!!!!!!

Okay, I called my son the computer guy - he suggested I switch browsers so I did.  The "word" shows up in explorer but not in firefox.  I had been using firefox forever, wonder what happened???  But at least now I can leave a comment!!!! 

A better view

 

Much, much better.  I did not want to see the snakeskin when I clicked on my blog, and I am sure you all were tired of seeing in on your sidebars!

We were told by a science teacher that it is not a venomous snake!!  That makes me feel a little better.  However, we still do not know where it is.  Last week I was in the attic space,  which is a walled off portion of our bedroom, remember our bedroom is a converted attic.  I tossed a pillow cover I wanted to use from the attic, (yes it was still sitting on the floor the other night) and I wonder if the snake had curled up in the pillow case to do it's shedding thing in the attic.  Maybe the skin was in the pillowcase when I tossed it out and the cat dragged it out.  Now, that means the snake is not loose in my bedroom, but in the attic!!  

A little better. 

Only a little.

The science teacher said, "The snake will stay around if there is a food source."  A food source?? You've got to be kidding me!!  Well we did catch a rat in the attic a few months back!!!!  Crap!  I have rats and a snake!!!!!! Remember I live in a very, very old house!!!!  Well I guess our rat problem has been taken care of by the snake, but I don't know if that is any better!!!

It's 10:50pm.  I have a decision to make.  Where do I sleep tonight?????  lol

YIKES!!

I went up to shower yesterday morning, and found this!!!

Yep, it's a shed snake skin!!!! It was not there the night before. Either one of our cats brought it in, or we have a rather large (3ft) snake slithering around!!!

My son came over last night and went through the bedroom - did not find it - said it could have gone out the way it came in. I live in an old home (160yrs) and there are lots of places, well not lots, but enough for it to have come in.

I slept out on the porch last night!!! My husband who HATES snakes braved the bedroom. He did take a cat with him upstairs!!!! Oh, the attic was converted into our bedroom, so when I say upstairs it's only our room.

I do have a funny story, as I said Greg hates snakes. One night he awoke from a bad dream, jumped out of bed yelling, snakes in the bed, snakes in the bed!!!!!! lol

Thankfully I did not hear that during the night!!

I am off to take a shower - upstairs - I hope it's not thirsty!!!!!

Finished the journal

I finished the journal. I am please with how it turned out. I even used my new painting.

I am really liking collage. Kelly's class has really helped.

chucking the fear

I have been afraid of collage.

I love journal pages that have elements of collage to them. Some with paint, some just paper, but I have been fearful of doing them. I am sure it is fear of not doing it right and looking like crap!!! I have tried to do "Teesha" style pages before and just can't seem to get them right.

I have been viewing Kelly Kilmer's blog for awhile and really like her pages so I decided to take her class "A Life Made By Hand". I made the little journal she shows you how to and jumped in. The photo posted is the cover. It is covered with shipping tape to make it durable as she suggests. I am really pleased with how it turned out and I am excited to do more.

WIP

This is something I began some time ago.

I had the background finished and was not sure what to add. There are several layers of colors under the black cross, some are peeking through.

I like it so far, can't decide if I want to leave it as is or add words!!! Sometimes words are not necessary, and sometimes simple is better.

I'll let it be for now.

a little more

working on this journal spread